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38 years ago today, reactor 4 at Chernobyl exploded

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Parents

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I had the very good fortune of having my mother (82) reach out to me for help in March after her rehab from a planned hip surgery wasn't progressing as she had hoped. I spent three weeks with her back east helping out with the dog etc. and making sure she was doing her exercises. It gave us a chance to clear the air about the past, go through some family history, and plan for her end-of-life wishes.

My dad (81) is another story. He left when I was six and we've had a strained relationship ever since. After about 15 years of silence, I reached out about 20 years ago and we've had sparse but civil contact since. He'll probably go first so I've got some work to do in a hurry.

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I am down to one parent. My dad died last year in a house fire (NOT the way to go). By this time next year I expect to be down to just two brothers.

I'm 57, it's the season of life, but I feel like I've got a friend losing a parent just about monthly at the moment.

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My dad's four year death anniversary was yesterday. My mom died 25 years ago from non-smokers lung cancer. In this case, time does not soften the blow. In the years since their deaths, I think about them way more than when they were alive.

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i dont have particularly good relations w/ my parents so it is easy enough to speak frankly

my dad died in 2017 (7 yrs ago now) he was 83. he had some sort of heart issues, had surgery, died a few days later from complications.

there is some Hindu tradition where the eldest son is supposed to officiate some memorial ceremony every year on the death-anniversary. i told my mom i would only do it the first year to make her happy.

my mom is ten years younger, turning 80 this year. seems to be in relatively good health for her age. still traveling solo to India and Europe most years.

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In your case, it would be to speak more frankly. In my case, some of what I would have to say would be tinged with bitterness, so I'll keep it short and attempt to be sweet.

Mom died in 2019. She struggled with schizophrenia and alcoholism. One may have been brought on by the other; it was a chicken or the egg kind of genesis. I was her eldest child and I was the beneficiary of that relationship. There was very little I could do wrong. Except when it came to my relationship with my step-father.

My step-father died in 2022. At his memorial service, I said, " Dad was easy to get along with. You only needed to see it his way." This brought forth a few knowing chuckles among those in attendance, because it was true. You would be wrong if you went against his perspective, especially if you were a child. It was all the more difficult since I clearly knew I wasn't *his* child; he was, in fact, an interloper in my eyes. He wanted me to see him as his father and held a grudge that I would return to my birth name after being adopted. Too bad.

My father still lives and we have a reasonable relationship for one that was mostly absent for the better part of 25 years. It's complicated.

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We're in the same club. My mother was a paranoid schizophrenic and alcoholic. Given what a saint my father was it made for a decidedly mixed childhood. Many decades of therapy followed and eventually 12 step meetings. I posthumously forgave my mother a few years after she died this after years of loathing her. I still miss my father, an amazing man loved by all who knew him.

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Oy. Thank Oski that you had one parent with whom you had a less complicated relationship.

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thanks for sharing. the more i talk to people, the more i realize that "complicated" is closer to the norm ..

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It is. Mrs Slug and I have tried not to repeat the same mistake our respective parents made with us. We've tried to make better mistakes.

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For sure. That's why I've been so happy to have given my children a "normal" upbringing (other than constantly hearing about Oski).

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i am hoping that i am giving the kids a normal upbringing as well. still, i have my own tough moments that are hard to shield completely.

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i think that raising a kid as a Cal football fan is a sign of "good parenting." teaches you many good life lessons about failure, having hope, grit. perseverance, dealing w/ disappointment, tempering unrealistic dreams, etc

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Good morning. TGIF (the correct pronunciation is T-JIFF).

--- stolen from the Morning Brew newsletter

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Thank Jehu it’s Friday?

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OUR CRUMBLING DEMOCRACY

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Well, well, well. If it isn't the consequences of your decisions coming back around to bite you in the ass. And then you double-down. Keep going, bozo. There won't be any hospitals left.

https://www.npr.org/2024/04/25/1246990306/more-emergency-flights-for-pregnant-patients--in-idaho

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Kristi Noem takes flak for shooting her pet puppy and goat to death.

https://twitter.com/NoLieWithBTC/status/1783911793171067378

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Imagine crowing about being heartless and cruel. I guess it is that the cruelty is the point with that crowd.

I can't even.

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Senate Minority leader thinks that it should not be legal to incite a mob to lynch the Senate Minority leader

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/trump-mitch-mcconnell-presidents-immune-prosecution-rcna149368

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TFG - who complained to the court that he couldn't get time off from his criminal proceeding to campaign, raise money, see his children's graduation, or lobby the Supreme Court - had a day off from the case. Guess what he did.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-claimed-trial-interferes-with-his-campaign-but-on-his-day-off-he-went-golfing

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PRO

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And soon thereafter they’ll add another game or two and the SB will be in March.

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NFL Draft

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49ers needed an offensive lineman to help with their stellar offensive skilled players. Naturally, they draft a WR.

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Naturally. I guess they expect to deal Aiyuk and/or Deebo.

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This may not age well, as soon as today, but I think this is the most likely scenario:

Pearsall sees limited reps on O in ‘24, as Kyle prefers to basically redshirt his rookies. RP contributes mostly on Special Teams and learns the Shanahan system. Niners extend Aiyuk long term, providing short term cap relief, with the contract ramping up in a few years. By then, Deebo and Kittle will be gone, Deebo after ‘24 (where the dead cap hit is totally manageable) and Kittle following ‘25.

With Brock on the cheap rookie deal, the Niners Super Bowl window is now. Trading Aiyuk for a 2nd or Deebo for a 4th, and plugging in a 3rd-tier rookie WR, makes you a decidedly weaker football team THIS year…that’s simply ridiculous, especially when they have 2 more years of control on BA. But they’re not making the Super Bowl next year with a rookie in place of one of their All-Pros.

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Penix drafted #8 by the Falcons and will wear a headset for two years

https://sports.yahoo.com/gave-kirk-cousins-180m-social-014113433.html

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Lakers blow lead again. down 0-3 to Nuggets.

i saw up until halftime when they had a comfy 10+ pt lead. i assumed they would probably blow it ...

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Butterfly

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CAL

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What's 284 feet tall and has a view of Eucalyptus Grove? Maybe this

https://sfyimby.com/2022/10/2128-oxford-street-makes-bid-for-tallest-tower-in-berkeley.html

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Rumor that we may be losing a starting DB to the portal

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It's official Kaylin Moore in the portal.

https://twitter.com/KaylinMoore11/status/1783880380875227366

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I'm impressed that he made the announcement without using the phrase, "with that being said..."

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On the positive side, there is rumored to be a silent commit that will be announced this weekend

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Doooom

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Go Bears!!!

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DBD STREET JOURNAL

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Breaking news: Stanfurd alumnus has wild crackpot ideas

https://newrepublic.com/article/180487/balaji-srinivasan-network-state-plutocrat

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In other news, water is wet.

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sort of money related - i just signed up to get my Amex cards replaced.

The new limited-edition cards are cloud-white in color and made from two Delta Boeing 747 aircraft that were retired after more than 27 years of service and feature each plane’s history, including their first and last flights, tail number and number of miles flown.

https://news.delta.com/storied-return-delta-american-express-bring-back-popular-airplane-metal-credit-card-design

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The Onion Is Sold by G/O Media

The satirical news website was bought by a new firm in Chicago that took inspiration for its name, Global Tetrahedron, from a book written by The Onion’s staff.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/25/business/media/the-onion-sold.html

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This is the deadcat bounce from the implosion of Gawker Media. The remnants gets sold off to private equity, so they're always looking for an exit. They sold off everything that makes money and this is the tailings of that process. Humor is not very profitable because advertisers don't like it due to its nature of necessarily walking the line of taboo/controversy. For example, the Huerestic Squelch has a higher circulation (11k) than the Daily Cal (10k) - but the latter is a fairly stable paper whereas the Squelch struggles.

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i didnt fully appreciate that it was sold to a "group of digital media veterans"

what does that even mean anymore??!!

it would be better if i had something funny and sarcastic to say

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The new CEO is an extremely online former NBC (iirc) reporter, which is not a complaint on my part

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He's awesome. Ben Collins.

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ELSEWHERE IN COLLEGE

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i dont normally feel too bad for a USC student. we have some close friends whose son is graduating this year after HS graduation being derailed by coronavirus times.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/26/style/campus-protests-college-graduation.html

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i supposed this doesnt really qualify as "crumbling democracy"

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Lindsay Gottlieb given an extension by USC until 2030. She’s done a very good job.

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She did what we hoped she would do here at Cal.

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Myles Jernigan to ACC rival Louisville. Cal doesn't play L'ville until 2025 and this is his final year of eligibility.

https://www.si.com/college/louisville/football/myles-jernigna-commits

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DBD AV CLUB

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I canceled my Netflix yesterday because I haven't watched it in a year. I am down to Max and Prime as my only streaming subscriptions, and I get Max free and I get Prime because I want fast free shipping.

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Jared Goff plugs Axel Foley

https://twitter.com/netflix/status/1783511327656288542

Also, Beverly Hills Cop 3 is older than Jared Goff

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Palm Springs (Hulu, 15/19 WB). It's "Groundhog's Day" redone at a wedding in Palm Springs rather than Puxatawny. It's casual viewing going over a well-mapped trope. Comedy is the hardest form to do well and they did a really nice job. Top quartile comedy flick. Quite entertaining and short (1:22).

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I liked it. With the mom from HIMYM.

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i am currently in no-mans-land with respect to talking about TV shows.

i have seen 7 or 8 episodes of Shogun (19/19) so i cant get involved in conversations about the most recent stuff.

as a result i have only seen the first epIsode of 3 Body Problem .. something i have been waiting for a long time for

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If you have any thought of seeing Three Body, the Mandarin version, I suggest you see that first before watching the Netflix version.

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good idea. i am only 1 episode in, so it should be an easy transition

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Stars my former student, Andy Samberg.

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