Cal Football NIL Spending Guide
Buyer beware
BUDGETING DISCLAIMER
I never spent more on clothing and nonsense than I did from ages 18–23, but I was also blowing money from retail gigs, not something approaching salary. What you should actually do is put your extra money here, then not touch it, but fuck that, let’s spend.
One question you gotta ask yourself: Are you going Dark Techie? Or Rich Hippie? Options for both paths lie ahead. Maybe you mix and match, the world is yours.
BEAR NECESSITIES
Apartments
God help us all if you aren’t laced with dope living conditions close to the facility. For the returning players living off campus, finding off-campus housing without help is developing a life skill, and you have a little bit of dough. You got this.
Still, in the back of my head I gotta wonder, what if you invested in real estate?
Groceries
I’m not suggesting anything, whatever Coach Novak tells you, do that. If you have to buy produce and want to contribute to the growing sensation of food-as-luxury being a recession indicator hit up Berkeley Bowl. This is like Valhalla for a very particular kind of GRWM creature in the Bay, but it’s also a classic with very good shit, whatever you need, replete with the vibes of a vintage health food store, and deep state Karen pricing. It’s good. Promise.
If you don’t want to haul yourself across town but still want to pay top dollar for luxury groceries and exceptional sandwiches, may I humbly suggest Star Grocery on Claremont, located in a neighborhood we will one day call “Donorville” if everything goes our way.
EATING OUT
Near Campus / Not Splashing
I will keep my opinions on La Burrita to myself. If you can make it six blocks there’s a brick and mortar Tacos Sinaloa. The trucks are better or whatever, but this one is right there. Maybe get the position group together and head down to La Mission on University, especially if you’re a head and wanna sell your boys on mole, maybe some decent pozole. If it’s time for Indian food Vik’s Chaat is can’t miss, but it’s all the way down by 4th street, which historically functioned as Telegraph for North Berkeley Moms, but things have changed. The Diner next to the Apple store is good, and you’ll need to get down there once Bows & Arrows moves off of Telegraph to their new location in a week or two. (More on that in a second.)
Off Campus Date Night
If you want to be sure you’re not tempted to threaten your hydration retention, consider Commis, the kind of meticulous and considered two michelin star restaurant that’s priced in a way that makes you slowly edge the alcohol menu off of the table entirely. The vaguely upsetting aura you sense as you enjoy your candlelit meal is the spirit of late Raiders owner Al Davis, who is interred up the street at Chapel of the Chimes.
Burdell is another Michelin starred restaurant where you can get the four course chef’s meal centered around Smothered Rabbit. Open up your night with the Caviar and Chicken Nugget service. If you’re under 21 and feel an odd sensation as you approach the restaurant, it’s because you’re just a hop skip away from the Kingfish, a powerful place of Oski worship that will not become visible to you until you’re of age.
Chez Panisse is a good place to eat like a retired coach doing media. The place has hosted Presidents and all that. If you want to enjoy Berkeley like a wealthy 65 year old, boy howdy do we have the place for you.
Off Campus Team Bonding
I feel like I don’t need to supply you with a list of movie theaters, mini golf courses, and bowling alleys. I am so sorry the Albany Bowl isn’t open anymore. I called the realtor, briefly considering ruining my entire life by re-opening the East Bay mecca and Cal fan outpost, but the realtor informed me the building is already in the process of becoming apartments. Oski will visit the residents in their sleep. Maybe fuck with Montclair Golf Club if you can’t access the Golf Teams facilities. Feels like you should, they have that big poster by the visitors entrance at Memorial.
We gotta get you all playing rounds here.
CLOTHES AND OTHER EARTHLY VIBES
Run it up at Bows and Arrows. You don’t have to do your tunnel style like Paige Bueckers just because Joe Burrow does, but you also might want something dope. This is the tier zero Nike account that has leveled up, ditch the athletic brands and suit up in Commes Des Garçons, splash on the good white tees. I’m assuming you’re getting lowkey Nike athlete flow (if you just transferred from an Under Armour school how good does that feel). Athlete flow is more effortless and cool than having the SNKRS app on your phone, just stick with that, or holler at the Emeryville Foot Locker on Bay Street. If you dig the Bows deal and wanna send it, head further walk down the block to Standard and Strange. Leathers. Exotic shirts. Zesty pants. If you run into the Rowing Coaches at the facility, ask if they’re ordering those sick Carhartt jackets again, they’re tough.
Bonger has the rare vintage. Vanishing Point in Temescal on Telegraph might be more fun day to day, especially since Mars and the other good vintage stores by campus are no longer.
If you just wanna hit the mall on some fly shit it’s time to mission to The Villages at Corte Madera. But really, the vibe is to lock in and save your clothing budget, go full tunnel vision zero dark 30, then spend it all on Santana Row after you go down to Palo Alto and shame the tree back into the netherrealm for a 5th straight season.
JEWELRY
Mr. Bling Bling occupies a certain space in the mind of the Bay Area resident when they first think of gold and riches, but was that the shine you’d want in the year of our lord 2025? Depends. Either way it’s gone for good. You’d hit Mr. Bling Bling before you went to Best Diner and then your boy gets in your ear about poker, and now you’re in the whip, Colma bound, zeroing in on Lucky Chances. That’s not you. You worked too hard for this.
Consider the Tag Heuer Carrera Day Date with Blue Dial and Cal detail.
If there is no mellowing your desire to shine, look no further than Mr. Tim Long Jr, or Zena Jewelers.
CARS
Weatherford BMW? Honestly just lease an Accord or something, Big Dog. You aren’t driving like that, keep it close to campus and rack up Uber and Lyft fees when you must, one less thing to worry about. On the other hand, I know one Cal booster who works on and flips Porsches. There’s folks out there that appreciate what you do, they’re to be found.
What if you just spent it all? Just don’t pull a Carson Beck, the Lambo gets inside parking.
TATTOOS
The second bowl season is over, whether it's time to get an entire paragraph of scripture on your forearm, or a gnarly viking ship on your bicep, the only place worth getting it done in the East Bay is the legendary Temple Tattoo, currently located in downtown Oakland, they’re moving down Telegraph past Kingfish, (before Burdell), in the next month. If you want to get your entire back done, they do that too. The shop is owned by a living legend named Freddy Corbin. Say fuck the transfer portal in advance and get on his list now to get something from him after 2026 spring ball. They last forever anyhow.
If you must leave the beloved embrace of the East Bay, run it up at Black Heart or Idle Hand in the city. Memorial Stadium chest piece, who says no?









Brilliant writing. My favorite is description of the Berkeley Bowl: "...Valhalla for a very particular kind of GRWM creature in the Bay....". Been that way since it opened in the old bowling alley in 1977.
I’m not sure why but I thoroughly love this.