191 Comments

https://twitter.com/anbara_salam/status/1239489588353216512?s=20

As a public service in these stressful times I'd like to offer, as a palate cleanser, the most embarrassing moment of my life.

10ish years ago, my ex bf and I visited a spa in Germany. It's swimsuits in the pool but you have to be naked in the sauna.

Btw I speak no German. 1/

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That was magical

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I was working an event in Hong Kong - and I had ordered room service and eaten it at 10pm - and stepped outside my door to put the tray down and the door slammed shut behind me.

I was wearing ONLY boxer shorts. And then getting off the elevator right then was Darryl Dawkins, the former NBA player, with my colleagues.

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OMG - that was hysterical - but why not open the door and look first?

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just as an editing note for clarity....when you quote a crazy pants story, put quotes around the text....I confusedly thought you were having a German Spa naked sauna adventure, unitl i clicked the link.

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Maybe anbara_salam is tbb's pseudonym.

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Shhhhh

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Someone test her German. If she doesn't know any, then TBB = anbara_salam.

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I will go nurse him to health.

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Don’t you think he’ll need his strength to fight off the virus ?

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One

You're like a dream come true

Two

Just want to be with you

Three

Girl, it's plain to see

That you're the only one for me

And four

Repeat steps one through three

Five

Make you fall in love with me

If ever I believe my work is done

Then I'll start back at one

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And now this is stuck in my head.

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A time when you were objectively wrong about something

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I didn't think the Buick Grand National was its own model, I thought it just a tacked on name to the Regal, which it was at first (like an "Eddie Bauer" Ford Explorer) but later was really its own model, not just a tarted-up variant.

My son NEVER lets me forget this.

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There are plenty of instances, but I can't think of a specific example right now, which makes me worry about lacking self-awareness...

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CAL

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Cal women's soccer alum Grace Leer advances on American Idol https://twitter.com/AmericanIdol/status/1239390682843840517

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[Pomp & Circumstance plays]

https://twitter.com/TheAbrahamAsare/status/1239251048172142592

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heh, that's awesome. BOO the red balloons however.

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No election. Trump will cancel it. I'm reminded of Poe's the Masque of the Red Death.

The red death had long devastated the country. No pestilence had ever been so fatal, or so hideous. Blood was its Avatar and its seal -- the madness and the horror of blood. There were sharp pains, and sudden dizziness, and then profuse bleeding at the pores, with dissolution. The scarlet stains upon the body and especially upon the face of the victim, were the pest ban which shut him out from the aid and from the sympathy of his fellow-men. And the whole seizure, progress, and termination of the disease, were incidents of half an hour.

But Prince Prospero was happy and dauntless and sagacious. When his dominions were half depopulated, he summoned to his presence a thousand hale and light-hearted friends from among the knights and dames of his court, and with these retired to the deep seclusion of one of his crenellated abbeys.

https://www.poemuseum.org/the-masque-of-the-red-death

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He can't do that, only Congress can. If for whatever reason the election doesn't take place, his term still ends on January 20 and the speaker of the house becomes president.

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Well, in that case...

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This is actually the last thing the Republicans want. IIRC, and someone should correct me if I'm wrong, if the elections are postponed Pelosi becomes president and the Dems have a 35-30 majority in the Senate.

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Why would House terms carry over by not Senate terms?

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So again, I may be wrong here since this is something super niche we're talking about. My understanding is that any congressional seat that's up for election just doesn't get filled until an election happens. Jan. 20th is when terms end, along with the presidency (which is why Pelosi takes over).

Not sure what you mean by House terms carry over but not Senate.

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Elsewhere in college sports

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Some Oregon football 2020 home game odds:

2.5 underdog to State University of Ohio at Columbus

4 point favorite to U$C

7 point favorite to Washington

https://247sports.com/college/oregon/Article/Oregon-Ducks-football-Betting-odds-Ohio-State-USC-Trojans-Washington-Huskies-145057767/

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Finna take the Buckeyes and 2.5. Justin Fields vs. brand new QB in his first FBS game?

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PRO

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ESPN: 49ers sign and trade Deforest Buckner to Colts for #13 pick (and obvious salary dump of $21m/year.

https://twitter.com/AdamSchefter/status/1239643423256317957

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MLB has pushed back opening day to mid-May at the earliest, in accordance with CDC guidelines.

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I'm going to guess sometime in June. Because unless the pitchers are doing side work, which many might be, you'll need 3-4 weeks just to get starters back to throwing 100 pitches. Although No 3's pitching coaches don't seem to have a problem having 16-18 year olds throw 100 pitches the first game out.

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Right now I'm assuming the baseball season doesn't happen either, but maybe this pandemic will turn faster than I think.

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Some parts of China (i.e. Shanghai, where I'm paying the most attention) are slowly coming back. Looking at my friends photos, it feels like 30% are back to working in the office, traffic and construction have returned. Gyms are limited in opening back up. But tons of people are still under self and/or ordered quarantine. And there's a big fear of re-igniting the spread as Chinese residents stuck abroad return back to China.

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The trouble is that it needs to be safe to play in venues all across the country and for teams to safely travel there as well. If there are still outbreaks in some locations but not others then they can't start the season.

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Big trade:

HOU Texans get:

• David Johnson

• 2020 2nd-round pick

• 2021 4th-round pick

AZ Cardinals get:

• WR DeAndre Hopkins

• 2020 4th-round pick

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WORST. TRADE. OF. ALL. TIME.

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Marshawn Lynch's t-shirt in Westworld:

https://twitter.com/YRueyYen/status/1239429547982041089

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Day 4 without sports:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXxbG4z-em4

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I've blown through like a half dozen of these marble videos. The first few I saw, the frontrunner just win the race wire-to-wire, but there are a shocking number of late-race drama in some of them.

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What happens if Covid delays construction of the new Las Vegas stadium. Will the Raiders stay in Oakland?

https://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2020/03/15/new-nfl-stadiums-could-miss-deadlines-based-on-covid-19-measures/

In related news, Cal is scheduled to play UNLV on August 29, 2020. I suspect they'll have to continue playing at Sam Boyd Stadium. Football in Vegas outdoors in August should be fun. They'll probably play at night, when it cools down to 108 degrees. And if they can't play at Sam Boyd, switch to Cal home game? Or cancel game?

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Fuck Mark Davis. He knows what he did.

Actually, the best thing for everyone concerned in such a case would be playing in San Antonio for the 2020 season.

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I may not go if it isn't in the new stadium.

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I definitely will not go if there is no new stadium

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Do you talk to yourself?

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All the time - especially when running or working out or driving

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Yes, it helps me think things through and come to decisions. I'm constantly talking to myself, usually in my head but sometimes out loud.

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Pretty much all of the time. I think because I've lived alone all of my adulthood I forget to filter it, and sometimes I find myself out on a walk or something chattering away, to myself. People probably think I'm absolutely insane.

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But you are. In a good way. We all love you.

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From an appropriate distance

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no touching.

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Only when it's criticism or logicking a puzzle

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No. I also don't hear words in my head, unless I'm actively planning dialogue or trying to parse something in a non-native language.

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Very often. Or so it seems to others. I sometimes make comments at the computer screen in front of me, even if there are others around me and it seems disjointed to them. My cubicle neighbor probably hears "Asshole...!" from time to time. Poor Angela. She deserves better than that.

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constantly.

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Best APARTMENT you've ever lived in.

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I owned unit 8C (this is unit 7C - and they've made some interesting choices with the bathroom tile color) http://search.har.com/engine/dispGallery.cfm?mlnum=56365530&siteType=AWS&CID=510592&allmls=Y

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i've only ever lived in one apartment...and that was only for like the fall semester my sophomore year. then i moved to my frat house the spring semester my sophomore year.

so, guess that one...well, there was a girl that did naked yoga in the mornings on her balcony next door...so that was nice...

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Do dorm rooms count? My second dorm freshman year had a panoramic view of the Monterey Bay from the top floor of our building. It was a shoebox that barely fit two twins and two desks, but that view was spectacular.

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What was your college? I liked being at Stevenson, but I would have killed for a view like that. Such a view from Lower Quad did not exist, I think.

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Morrison House in Cowell. It was the center building on the 4th floor facing south. It only sucked when I sprained my ankle and had to climb the stairs with crutches.

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Makes sense. That was my first thought when you mentioned the view and I also thought you had said earlier that you were at Cowell. It seems like the only other college that would have such views from the dorms would be Oakes. Having never been in an Oakes dorm room, I wouldn't know.

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I had a room at Oakes but it did not face the bay, rather towards the lawn. Oh well.

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My son was at Oakes, he had a decent view of the bay.

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Both Oakes and Carsen College (formerly college 8) have some great views from some dorm buildings, but I think Cowell has the best, which makes sense as it was the first college and why wouldn't they put it in the best location on the property.

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So, LinkedIn pushed a suggestion that I link with this dude who I sometimes have interactions with here in the world of New York State government. He's got an unconventional streak and he uses a symbol as his auto-signature and whatnot but he's a really great lawyer and you definitely want him on your team.

Anyways, I looked closer at the LinkedIn profile and found that he was actually being recommended because, like me, he's a Banana Slug. And now this dude makes a lot more sense to me.

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Probably the last one I lived in, which was nice in an unremarkable, upscale sort of way.

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I have had some damn good apartments. My last one in London was built in 1850, with 12' ceilings and huge rooms, a gorgeous marble (working) fireplace and original plaster moldings etc, but all updated kitchen/baths, and it was on a garden square.

My last one in SF before this one was 2000 sf, with a view of the Golden Gate and a big chef's kitchen and a dining room with a fireplace, but no parking and it was up 42 steps, which gets it a demerit.

The one I'm in now is good and my friends all like it best, but there's something about it that prevents me from loving it. It's in a beautiful Spanish colonial building from 1930, with a decent size, original features and a good layout, but it's not The One for me.

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Scootie do you want to adopt an adult??

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or two.

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Before kids, my wife and I had a nice two-bedroom, two-bathroom in Oakland near Grand Lake. Very affordable, lots of space. Only issue was that it was also close to the freeway, so we had to get used to that noise (eventually your mind just kind of drowns it out).

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Well, the 3,600 sf top level loft I built out myself obviously.

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Honestly, the one I'm living in now. Have an in-unit washer/dryer, my bathroom is fucking huge. Got space to stretch out my legs while I poop. Only thing I'd wish for is a somewhat modern fridge.

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In-unit laundry is the dream.

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I forgot to add, I also have central heating/AC.

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I made sure my last place had laundry hookups in the basement. Better to walk down 2 flights than to go to the laundromat.

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@the only one I had before I had kids...@

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not counting college I guess.

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Contradiction in terms.

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Are you talking how nice the pure physical space is? Or also the city, neighborhood? Time of life?

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The nearest red thing near you kills you; what killed you?

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beet-colored down vest that I'll wear when it's not football season, or if it is football season, then only on Sunday

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A pair of pink running socks (that I'm about to put on)

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A Hydro Flask thermos, and in advance of any smart remarks about my new life as a Vsco girl, I bought it several years ago at a brewery in Vermont.

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what are VSCO girls?

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Wait, are vsco girls still a thing?

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I assume so. I’ll check with the household teenagers this evening.

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They can't be since I was able to (kind of) learn what that term means a few weeks ago.

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That's my thought process. I'm not like old or anything, but old enough now that I don't follow social media and if it reaches me...it's probably done.

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A book: "The New Woman's Survival Catalog"

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A red pencil sharpener on my desk at home...which I don't think I have used in 2-3 years because I don't use pencils anymore (except at IKEA).

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A pair of Christmas-themed pajama pants

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A folder labeled "Signature Items"

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post it notes....

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My phone

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...a pokeball.

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Hardback lab notebook?

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Red pencil? It seemed so safe...

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Miniature clothespin

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A sippy cup?

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a christmas white elephant gift mug that's been unused on my desk for about 3 years.

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A bottle of Budweiser, which may well prove prescient.

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Positive/good activities that you/your family are doing at home now that you've got more time together.

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Not to be needlessly contrarian, but I'm not at home with Mrs Slug. I'm at work. We're still busy here as we provide an essential service. While the rest of the business world stops, people still need to have water out of the tap. In fact, it's now more critical than it probably has been anytime in the last 60 years (my lifetime).

We still need to maintain the system; we still need to fix leaks and connect new services. We need to make sure that hospitals and critical care facilities still have water service. I'm amazed by the changes that have taken place and as quickly as they have (like in the last 5 days).

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Slightly different slant, but this has been (sort of) the answer to a life time of prayers for our DBA at work, who has been an advocate for social isolation for years!

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I just texted the missus to say that I have to work from home starting tomorrow and got a reply saying “we’re going to need some ground rules.” So that’s not ominous at all.

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Good luck with that!

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We set up our home gym yesterday and are finally getting our office in order . . . slowly. Also hanging artwork, mirrors, etc, which we had been putting off since the move. Next up is to procure bookshelves and unpack the 11 bankers boxes of books that are in our garage.

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My parents came over yesterday

Mama: Can I eat this bread?

Brother: Sure, I'll slice it for you

Mama: I think the piece should be bigger. What about those chips?

Me: You can have some

Mama: I already did!

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All the cooking. We did marinated fajitas the other day and I busted out my world famous brisket yesterday while the wife made some bang on charro beans. We have supplies for carnitas and chili so expect to be eating a lot over the next couple weeks

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Opposite. Obvious "TS019 is alone" meme aside, I'm worried about my parents. They're now empty nesters and I don't think they want to be stuck in the house 24/7 that Newsom called for. We already got in an argument over it as my sisters and I were trying to convince them to stay put. I don't know how to make the situation better for them or how to help.

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Gen-Xers and Millennials yelling at their parents not to go out. A shoe's on the other foot now scenario.

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My mother is apparently determined to keep going to places like supermarkets etc despite the fact that she was hospitalized twice with heart problems in December and that my father is going through chemotherapy. Nothing much we can do.

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Well, you kind of have to get groceries and meds and supplies. It's the completely voluntary stuff that's the issue.

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Can they go out for walks? Video chat with you?

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Lots more talking. Dr. Ms. Newellbany seems like a nice person, so that's good.

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We play a family game every night now. 2 nights ago, "Pandemic", naturally. Last night, "For Sale"

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Stock market

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I forgot to fully roll over my 401K. It's rolled over and safe, but I forgot to allocate it so it's not investing. I was pretty pissed at first because I missed the bull market, but now I'm missing this. So...call it even?

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is in the crapper.

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I made the mistake of looking at my investment accounts (I had to transfer some cash to my Schawb checking account since I'm living on that cash right now in-exile) and yikes.

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A guy I work with sent me a screen shot of INTC. Ouch. Well I don't need the money now so long run I'll be fine. @depending on what AMD decides to do@

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Woho - I can't say that I've ever heard of this phrase.

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It's a throwback from before your time.

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It was Twist that started WOHO I think.

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"Think"? It's such a quintessentially Twist story.

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He was trying to rebrand WFH

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"Before my time" like... the 60s? the 20s? Civil War? Iron Age? Cugel's formative years?

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Way way back in the woeful days of the 2013s.

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I know woohoo but don't know woho.

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St. Patrick's Day

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get back to the real St. Pats and celebrate driving snakes and 'evil' out of Ireland. Not green beer and making out with red heads whose names you don't know.

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[Why Not Both.gif]

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Our Crumbling Democracy

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Die Welt: Trump administration offers large sum of money to purchase Germany company developing vaccine for "US only".

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/mar/15/trump-offers-large-sums-for-exclusive-access-to-coronavirus-vaccine

Seems so stupid that it seems fake. Then again, we've reached the point where this administration is an over-the-top parody of itself.

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Heh, and nobody in the administration can solidly deny this story.

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DEM Debate

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Biden has this in the bag and nothing about the last debate seems likely to change that.

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Corona Virus

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Looks like the Bay is getting a shelter in place order

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Looks like we're well on our way to 1000!

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https://www.sfchronicle.com/bayarea/article/Bay-Area-to-shelter-in-place-What-you-need-15135087.php

How long is the order in place for?

The shelter-in-place order becomes effective at 12:01 a.m. Tuesday and will be in place until at least April 7. People, particularly vulnerable populations, are advised to leave their homes only to take care of essential errands.

What will be closed, and what will stay open?

Counties are shutting down all but the most critical operations. Places that attract clusters of people, like gyms, nightclubs or bars, will have to close down. Restaurants must serve only take-out or delivery orders. Hospitals, grocery stores, banks and pharmacies will remain open.

The order calls for all “routine medical appointments” and elective procedures to be canceled or rescheduled.

Daycare centers and veterinarians will remain open with some restrictions, as will laundry services. Emergency services, like police and fire operations, will also continue.

All non-essential gatherings of any size are now banned.

Can I still go outside for essentials, exercise and fresh air?

Yes. People will still be able to leave their homes to handle essential business in limited circumstances — like buying groceries or picking up medicine — and to get fresh air. But when people do need to leave their homes, health officials are requiring they maintain at least six feet from other individuals and that they wash their hands for at least 20 seconds as often as possible.They’re also calling on people to cover their coughs and sneezes and to avoid shaking hands.

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I just went to Safeway to get a few thigns for No 2 to have lunch. Crazy. Lines to the back of the store. All the bread and stuff are gone. I don't understand. I guess it just means fewer people in the stores tomorrow for me.

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I REALLY don't understand this behavior. I get panic, but I don't get the hoarding mentality when they literally exempted all groceries and food companies from the lock down specifically so that people don't have to worry about food.

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no one really pays attention to the news - just the headlines. And then people think "hmm, maybe we should pick stuff up" and then you see everyone else buying 24 packs of toilet paper and so you join in.

"A person is smart. People are stupid" - Men in Black

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Yeah, but there's a point of rationality. Like I hope you have room for 500 rolls of toilet paper at home? It's actually something that's always eaten at me. As someone who studied economics, the first assumption you always make is that people are rational. But we have proven time over time that this is the first assumption to throw out.

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The presser released around 1 pm PT by the seven public health officers of Alameda, Contra Costa, Marin, San Francisco, San Mateo, and Santa Clara counties, and the City of Berkeley:

https://cmo.smcgov.org/sites/cmo.smcgov.org/files/20200316%20HHS%206CoPHOrder%20--%20FINAL.pdf

I left my office around 3 pm to see if I could get a few items that I couldn't find yesterday. Generally, orderly pandemonium all around. People queued up calmly and all good natured, but serious. Guy at Nob Hill parking lot told me it took him an hour to check out. uh uh; I left. Trader Joe's allowing shoppers in the store one at a time, when someone left (social distancing). Person in front of the line had been there 15 minutes. Local mom and pop market line went all the way to the back of the store. Will venture out tonight to get petrol, and since I can't go to the gym in the morning, maybe see if stores are restocked by then!

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I went for a walk this afternoon and Safeway was the only happening place. Pretty much everywhere else was closed or had few customers. I went in Barnes and Noble and think I kept my six feet self distance since there weren't many folks there. They were even nice enough to have the doors propped open so you could go in without touching anything.

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I would say that but it's been like this since Friday at least.

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What about doing things like going on hikes? Really if you're out in the outdoors walking on trails and there aren't a lot of people doing it, it should be safer than, say, going to a movie.

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Going to a movie would be a reckless action!

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Movie theaters in Bangkok are selling tickets only 6 feet apart. (you need to pre-select seats)

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no touching

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Never mind...it sounds like hikes and stuff are fine provided you remain 6 feet away.

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outdoor walks / hikes permitted with members of your household, especially your furbabies!

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We've been enjoying the hikes in our neighborhood in between rain showers.

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There is a lot going on in this video from Ah-nold:

https://twitter.com/Schwarzenegger/status/1239383795205169152

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Hehe that video is amazing

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Oh look at the show-off with his fancy diploma.

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It's a prized possession in my home as well

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Uh... (blink)... ... ... ... (blink)...

https://twitter.com/CashNastyGaming/status/1239039704181493761

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!?! gasp... can't unsee that...

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Darwin Award nominee

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we are all going to die.

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That's always been true. Just the cause hasn't been known.

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That would diminish the significance of the issue of the CGB/DBD relocation.

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Nah. F SB Nation.

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nope

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Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!?!?!

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Scuttled my trip to the Bay Area. All the sibs were getting together for the first time in awhile but my sister and her husband didn't feel comfortable traveling so the get together is off. I thought about going out anyways but decided to wait until things get more back to normal.

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Probably the right decision. You and your siblings should plan a videochat!

I canceled my trip to Ohio (and now my friend is going to postpone his wedding), and a friend was supposed to come stay with me while she interviewed in SF, but I convinced her to stay put (she flew from HK to Boston and has been staying with her sister for a week).

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A videochat with us all would have been more efficient. Yesterday afternoon after my sister decided I got a call from a sister-in-law to see what my plans were so she could decided if she should cancel the vacation time she put in for. Within ten minutes of hanging up my brother called not knowing his wife had called. And while I was talking to my brother my sister called. A group videochat would have made much more sense. I think everybody ended up talking to everybody but all independently.

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So much coordinating!

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FET

I was livid last week that my kid's school system hadn't shut down, with the stupid excuse that kids aren't in a high risk group.

Two people at my work came down with symptoms during last week, but were told to stay home. They were not part of the official Covid count because nobody qualifies for a test since a) until last week, you had to have been in China or Italy or other high-risk FOREIGN country to qualify (stupid xenophobic rules), b) be short of breath and c) be running a fever. The rules have since been liberalized.

I've been working at home since the middle of last week. I'm already prepared for a limited confinement and spreading of the virus. I had forgot to shut off my workout membership and was thinking ugh... okay, I have to stop but one or two more classes before I stop.

I go on Friday and I see that the workout class is about 1/4 full. The only people left are older, wealthy white women - whereas it is normally a mix of people. There's always a few moments before the class starts to chat.

That's when a woman says "so what do you think of them keeping the schools open?" to which everyone (but me) says something supportive. They are saying how it's like the flu, tiny chance of dying, it's just a hoax, the vaccine will be available very very soon, it's not in our area, everyone is stupid for panicking, and that everyone should go out and get together since things are closing off. Basically, it is a paroting of Fox News.

I stood there in horror. They were not taking the virus seriously and some were actively doing things that could spread it. I was thinking "my god, if this gets really bad - the ladies of Fox News are going to get someone killed". Then I thought, everyone spontaneously shutting down on Thurs/Friday last week will either work or it won't. If spontaneous confinements work, then the ladies of Fox News are going to think that a successful anti-pandemic reaction looks like a giant over-reaction.

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I'm just hoping the ladies of Fox News will be the first to go.

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@In such an event, the hydrogen peroxide manufacturers will see a decline in sales.@

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You should've just coughed on them.

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