we made our first will when the kids were first born just so that there was something written down. fast forward almost 16-19 years, we probably need to set up some sort of trust and more official documentation about all this.
As luck would have it, I met with an estate planner yesterday. We're set for survivorship if one spouse dies, but we're worried about what happens if we both die simultaneously. Cal Football Head Coach Trust fund may get a gift if we both die. Pray for our simultaneous deaths, dear readers.
Varies by state but usually if both spouses die intestate then their estate just goes pro rata to the kids. But def set up a will though, is not much work or cost to do (usually 5K-ish). Note: in many states, a holographic (handwritten) will is enforceable even without without witness signatures, so you could also hand write out something as a quick fix if you were planning a dive to the Titanic or something
Please please everyone do this. You DO NOT want to your kids/loved ones to have to deal with your intestate death. My dad and his wife died simultaneously in February intestate and it is the biggest pain in the ass and it's going to take years to sort out.
Also make sure that someone who will automatically know you are dead (sibling, kid. BFF) has your paperwork, including a list of all your accounts and important numbers (think SSN etc.), and how to access those accounts. A lawyer is not good enough. We think my dad and his wife probably had wills, but because we don't know who their lawyer was we cannot find them and are having to do the intestate dance.
First of all, so sorry for your recent loss. Losing one was hard enough for me, without the added insult of losing both simultaneously.
Second, great share and good to know.
We have a living trust which upon the last survivor's death goes into our son's special needs trust. But, it was finalized fairly recently and you gave me an idea to let my nephew in on some details and passwords.
Ibid, ibid, ibid to what everyone has said about estate planning (wills, family trusts, executors, guardians for minor children, advanced directives, etc..) with a few FYIs.
1. Put your docs on flash drives (or in the cloud) and give them to your trusted BFF / kids / executor / person named “in case of emergency”. Your attorney should do this as part of their estate planning service. At minimum give them a hard copy of your will and a list of your financial accounts.
2. Review your plan every few years. You may want to reconsider the person you named guardian for your three year-old kid when the kid is 12. And if you set up minor trusts when the young’uns are babies, you may want to change the age of inheritance from 35 to 25 (for example) assuming they become fine upstanding adults true to their Blue and Gold bloodlines. 😊
the one thing i did a few years ago that was helpful but not so much legal work, is transition all the finances and investments over to a single financial advisor.
while my wfie is perfectly informed and knowledgable about where our money is, she does not have the same level of enthusiasm about it. so in case HSB-gets-hit-by-a-bus there is a single point of contact.
the extra benefit which i did not anticipate is that there a 3rd party person now telling us we are on track for retirement. so it is not so obviously my crazy ideas that need to be careful considered and weighed against other random external advice.
We got that stuff settled right before daughter was born.
Then did it for mom after dad passed, which gave us the ability to make health decisions in the event she couldn't, which was super helpful a couple of months later when she collapsed in her home, and then was unconscious at Kaiser. We were able to choose palliative care.
Now need to update the "who takes care of daughter" portion of ours. We're holding tryouts ;-)
Same. I have a bunch of old electronics-related stuff that needs to be purged from the basement. Ethernet cables, VGA cables, coaxial cables. All kinds of stuff I doubt I will ever use again
I have a chest of drawers in my guest room that is full of dead cables, old paperwork, pads of purloined post its and God knows what else. I badly need to nearly empty it (I can take one drawer of junk but not three).
I've returned from Charleston, which I haven't visited since before Covid. The change has shocked me. The local residents have moved out. Now, the city is super focused on tourists - but not just any type of tourists - bachelorette parties. Thousands of them. The central part of the city has been hollowed out - nobody lives there and nearly 100% of all the houses seem to be used for AirBnB. There are almost no grocery stores, dry cleaners, gyms, or other retail resident support and it has all switched over to hospitality. Convenience stores are insane - they are now just sell Gatorade, sunscreen, t-shirts, and towers of Truly/Whiteclaw. Restaurants book out months in advance and places that are walk-in have 2 hour waits for lunch. Add on top of that the College of Charleston is over two-thirds female. Women get married younger in the South, so everyone looked like a child brides to me - but they probably averaged about 23 years old.
Sounds like a shallow and unpleasant place to visit, which is a shame because I've heard they have some excellent restaurants out there. Hopefully they can still keep the culinary tradition alive despite the change in clientele.
Actually, I had a good time. The city still oozes culture and history. There are lots of really good restaurants and fun things to do. In the big picture, this is perhaps the best type of tourists you can have. They come in - spend big and don't act like dumbasses that guys would. So its remarkably clean and organized for being what it is.
I paid my first visit to Charleston in February of this year and found it to be an absolute delight. I didn't have the above experience, esp regarding bachelorette parties (Phoenix, on the other hand, seems suddenly to be nothing but bachelorettes, which I thought was odd. Go somewhere with a personality, gals!).
i'll be sure to remember to tell my bachelorette friends!
we went a couple years ago (for a wedding) and didnt appreciate the change that SGBear speaks of. it did feel very touristy and crowded and the Instagram-able places were very crowded.
Book rec: Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin. Story of two college kids who form a video game company in the late 90s. It plays with one of the main themes of modern life, which is the conflict between career goals and relationship goals. Obviously a lot of books/movies/shows hit this general topic, but this book is just masterfully done. Characters are extremely well drawn and interesting/sympathetic, story is well plotted and paced. Just a joy to read, and I look forward to more from her. Best new author (well, new to me) I have read in a while
a good friend from HS recommended this also. one of the few people whose recs i trust completely. i have it on my shelf. maybe will prioritize reading it next ..
John Oliver's first show back was terrific (then again they all are). How I missed him. Tonight the Only Murders finale. Not ready to say goodbye to that.
I haven't watched Daily Show since Trevor Noah left. There were a couple of guest hosts I wanted to watch but I missed when they hosted. That's the other show I've generally missed since he left.
I'm more than happy to let House Republicans engage in petty infighting until the next election, but I think we're in for a prolonged shutdown if he's not the speaker when the continuing resolution expires next month.
6 GOP members have already voted yes, and Democrats have vowed to vote as a bloc to oust McCarthy. McCarthy's cushion is 4 GOP members. So, it seems likely that history will be made in that the motion to vacate will pass.
I decline to take any joy in this at the moment. I'm reminded of this aphorism - "Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it."
i dont see how a new speaker helps the Dems any unless they just enjoy watching the carnage and hoping for a bunch of self-inflicted damage by the Reps.
This is the moment of the most danger for the House Freedom Caucus. If they can't get 218 votes for a Speaker of their choice, what's the point of ousting McCarthy? There's a very real possibility that it will take multiple ballots to choose a new Speaker.
At the same time, if the Dems can swing a deal with the GOP members who represent Districts that voted for Biden in 2020, Hakeem Jeffries could be the next Speaker; theoretically; conceivably. The chances of that happening are only slightly better than me winning tonight's PowerBall draw.
McCarthy wasn't a help to Democrats, either. WaPo recounted numerous times that McCarthy went against Democrats interests or positions, which is why the Dems were a bloc of 213 votes against McCarthy.
On this day in 1925 in Memorial Stadium the Golden Bears defeated Nevada 54-0. This would be the last of fifty consecutive Cal games without a loss. The following week the Bears would fall to the Olympic Club for their first defeat since the finale of the 1919 season. In other parts of the country on this day Notre Dame defeated Lombard 69-0 and Oregon played to a scoreless tie with Multnomah Club.
DBD celebrates 100 years of football in Strawberry Canyon with this daily feature appearing throughout the football season.
Pandas are cute but I feel like this is just a marketing problem for these US zoos. Just pick another of the many cute animals in the world to focus marketing efforts on and move on. The panda diplomacy stuff is just so absurd
When I went to check out the pandas last week, I much more enjoyed seeing the baby gorilla being carried around on mom's back and the young Andean bears climbing forty feet up in a tree.
On the off chance the government shut down for an extended time, I made a trip through the zoo last week. Probably go again before the pandas are gone for good.
ICYMI: Baylor falls behind by 28 points after UCF chews up half the third quarter marching down the field to scored a TD. Then Baylor score 19 more points but UCF gets the ball back with 9 minutes to go and up by 9, march down the field to FG range. It's 3rd down and a first down would ice the game, but this happens:
UCF gets the ball back, again only needing a first down to ice the game. The throw throw an incomplete pass and then have a play with a penalty that results in a loss of down so have to punt after only burning only 70 seconds.
UCF kicks off and it's a terrible kick and the ball gets returned to the Baylor 36. Baylor has a terrible QB, so they run the ball to FG range and UCF burns all 3 of their TOs in the process. Baylor kicks the go ahead FG. UCF gets the ball back and struggle on their side of the all. Then this happens on 4th down:
ICYMI: Utah State came back from 17 and took a 7 point lead, then UConn scored a TD with 40 seconds left to go. Tight End (#83) Brandon Niemenski had two guys to block- but failed to chip the inside guy - Ike Larsen - and allowed him to go unblocked to win the game.
Previous starting O-lineman for Texas A&M gets arrested for violating a retraining order. Should he a) learn a valuable lesson and then say 'this isn't me and I promise to change' or b) call her three times from jail?
Rhett was drafted in the sixth round by the Bucs and was a bubble player - getting signed and cut repeatedly. He signed with the 49ers, again a bubble player. He got cut and went to work for his buddy's tile shop. Then Dana Stubblefield got injured and he got resigned and played played well as a starter for 2 games and earning a Superbowl Ring that season. The next season he signed with Philly where he eventually earned a starting role. However, he got injured and played his last game in 1998. He moved to Morgan Hill where he became a financial advisor. His son Cade went to Bellarmine and went to SJSU - earned all-league twice, league defensive player, and finished fourth all time sack leader in Spartan history.
What’s something in your life that needs to be sorted?
estate planning.
we made our first will when the kids were first born just so that there was something written down. fast forward almost 16-19 years, we probably need to set up some sort of trust and more official documentation about all this.
As luck would have it, I met with an estate planner yesterday. We're set for survivorship if one spouse dies, but we're worried about what happens if we both die simultaneously. Cal Football Head Coach Trust fund may get a gift if we both die. Pray for our simultaneous deaths, dear readers.
Varies by state but usually if both spouses die intestate then their estate just goes pro rata to the kids. But def set up a will though, is not much work or cost to do (usually 5K-ish). Note: in many states, a holographic (handwritten) will is enforceable even without without witness signatures, so you could also hand write out something as a quick fix if you were planning a dive to the Titanic or something
it's already in the planning stages...
Please please everyone do this. You DO NOT want to your kids/loved ones to have to deal with your intestate death. My dad and his wife died simultaneously in February intestate and it is the biggest pain in the ass and it's going to take years to sort out.
Also make sure that someone who will automatically know you are dead (sibling, kid. BFF) has your paperwork, including a list of all your accounts and important numbers (think SSN etc.), and how to access those accounts. A lawyer is not good enough. We think my dad and his wife probably had wills, but because we don't know who their lawyer was we cannot find them and are having to do the intestate dance.
First of all, so sorry for your recent loss. Losing one was hard enough for me, without the added insult of losing both simultaneously.
Second, great share and good to know.
We have a living trust which upon the last survivor's death goes into our son's special needs trust. But, it was finalized fairly recently and you gave me an idea to let my nephew in on some details and passwords.
Ibid, ibid, ibid to what everyone has said about estate planning (wills, family trusts, executors, guardians for minor children, advanced directives, etc..) with a few FYIs.
1. Put your docs on flash drives (or in the cloud) and give them to your trusted BFF / kids / executor / person named “in case of emergency”. Your attorney should do this as part of their estate planning service. At minimum give them a hard copy of your will and a list of your financial accounts.
2. Review your plan every few years. You may want to reconsider the person you named guardian for your three year-old kid when the kid is 12. And if you set up minor trusts when the young’uns are babies, you may want to change the age of inheritance from 35 to 25 (for example) assuming they become fine upstanding adults true to their Blue and Gold bloodlines. 😊
Me too. it's really easy to put off.
the one thing i did a few years ago that was helpful but not so much legal work, is transition all the finances and investments over to a single financial advisor.
while my wfie is perfectly informed and knowledgable about where our money is, she does not have the same level of enthusiasm about it. so in case HSB-gets-hit-by-a-bus there is a single point of contact.
the extra benefit which i did not anticipate is that there a 3rd party person now telling us we are on track for retirement. so it is not so obviously my crazy ideas that need to be careful considered and weighed against other random external advice.
it is sort of like having a travel planner
we also have a financial advisor, which is helpful for leveling out my very risk-averse approach to long term planning.
if it helps any, my portfolio is exceptionally conservative too. i told the advisor to "play prevent defense" with our money.
of course, we all know that prevent defense almost always ends badly!
prevent a win defense.
Same here. That and spend some time on retirement planning also.
We got that stuff settled right before daughter was born.
Then did it for mom after dad passed, which gave us the ability to make health decisions in the event she couldn't, which was super helpful a couple of months later when she collapsed in her home, and then was unconscious at Kaiser. We were able to choose palliative care.
Now need to update the "who takes care of daughter" portion of ours. We're holding tryouts ;-)
i offer to raise daughter as a not-so-die-hard Cal football fan. i bet you dont have too many people offering that??!!
ha! well she *does* have like 10 cal shirts, thanks to you :-)
nice. i forgot about that
lots and lots of cables, some merely obsolete, some that have shorted and are no longer usable
And books
and old paperwork / deliverables from previous jobs
Same. I have a bunch of old electronics-related stuff that needs to be purged from the basement. Ethernet cables, VGA cables, coaxial cables. All kinds of stuff I doubt I will ever use again
I have a chest of drawers in my guest room that is full of dead cables, old paperwork, pads of purloined post its and God knows what else. I badly need to nearly empty it (I can take one drawer of junk but not three).
Weekend report
I've returned from Charleston, which I haven't visited since before Covid. The change has shocked me. The local residents have moved out. Now, the city is super focused on tourists - but not just any type of tourists - bachelorette parties. Thousands of them. The central part of the city has been hollowed out - nobody lives there and nearly 100% of all the houses seem to be used for AirBnB. There are almost no grocery stores, dry cleaners, gyms, or other retail resident support and it has all switched over to hospitality. Convenience stores are insane - they are now just sell Gatorade, sunscreen, t-shirts, and towers of Truly/Whiteclaw. Restaurants book out months in advance and places that are walk-in have 2 hour waits for lunch. Add on top of that the College of Charleston is over two-thirds female. Women get married younger in the South, so everyone looked like a child brides to me - but they probably averaged about 23 years old.
Sounds like a shallow and unpleasant place to visit, which is a shame because I've heard they have some excellent restaurants out there. Hopefully they can still keep the culinary tradition alive despite the change in clientele.
Actually, I had a good time. The city still oozes culture and history. There are lots of really good restaurants and fun things to do. In the big picture, this is perhaps the best type of tourists you can have. They come in - spend big and don't act like dumbasses that guys would. So its remarkably clean and organized for being what it is.
Huh, they sound quite a bit better behaved than I would have expected
And I will be back in a week and a half, too.
I paid my first visit to Charleston in February of this year and found it to be an absolute delight. I didn't have the above experience, esp regarding bachelorette parties (Phoenix, on the other hand, seems suddenly to be nothing but bachelorettes, which I thought was odd. Go somewhere with a personality, gals!).
If you had told me this when I was 24, I probably would have booked a flight to Charleston immediately.
At age 44, it reads like a modern day translation of Dante.
I think that makes me a curmudgeon!
That is a wonderful metaphor.
Welcome to the club, O.O.
Remember, by and large, people suck.
could be Paradiso??!!
Hah, true! But, no
i'll be sure to remember to tell my bachelorette friends!
we went a couple years ago (for a wedding) and didnt appreciate the change that SGBear speaks of. it did feel very touristy and crowded and the Instagram-able places were very crowded.
we enjoyed the historical walking tour the most.
DBD AV CLUB
Book rec: Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin. Story of two college kids who form a video game company in the late 90s. It plays with one of the main themes of modern life, which is the conflict between career goals and relationship goals. Obviously a lot of books/movies/shows hit this general topic, but this book is just masterfully done. Characters are extremely well drawn and interesting/sympathetic, story is well plotted and paced. Just a joy to read, and I look forward to more from her. Best new author (well, new to me) I have read in a while
I enjoyed the first 2/3 a lot, but hated the last part (everything after the Big Thing that happens).
I enjoyed it. Someone gave to me since I work in that industry
a good friend from HS recommended this also. one of the few people whose recs i trust completely. i have it on my shelf. maybe will prioritize reading it next ..
John Oliver's first show back was terrific (then again they all are). How I missed him. Tonight the Only Murders finale. Not ready to say goodbye to that.
Last Week Tonight was the show I missed the most during the writers' strike. So glad it's back
Loved it.
I haven't watched Daily Show since Trevor Noah left. There were a couple of guest hosts I wanted to watch but I missed when they hosted. That's the other show I've generally missed since he left.
saw the 4K remaster of the Talking Heads concert film Stop Making Sense in IMAX and it RULED, easily the best theater experience this year
Have a few hours to kill in San Diego…gonna go see a movie.
Dumb Money.
OUR CRUMBLING DEMOCRACY
Judge Engoran slaps gag order on Trump after Orange Julius attacked the judge on social media. He deleted the post, but too little too late.
https://www.politico.com/news/2023/10/03/trump-fraud-trial-gag-order-00119735
Matt Gaetz triggers vote to oust McCarthy
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/rep-matt-gaetz-triggers-vote-oust-kevin-mccarthy-speakers-office-rcna118112
I'm more than happy to let House Republicans engage in petty infighting until the next election, but I think we're in for a prolonged shutdown if he's not the speaker when the continuing resolution expires next month.
yeah that 45 day clock is ticking a little louder
It’s embarrassing but I guess if they are preoccupied with this garbage they can’t do their real jobs which is maybe good?
Vote to vacate the speaker motion is underway.
6 GOP members have already voted yes, and Democrats have vowed to vote as a bloc to oust McCarthy. McCarthy's cushion is 4 GOP members. So, it seems likely that history will be made in that the motion to vacate will pass.
I decline to take any joy in this at the moment. I'm reminded of this aphorism - "Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it."
i dont see how a new speaker helps the Dems any unless they just enjoy watching the carnage and hoping for a bunch of self-inflicted damage by the Reps.
Update: Kevin McCarthy is out. Welcome to the Endless Votes for Speakership Part Deux.
This is the moment of the most danger for the House Freedom Caucus. If they can't get 218 votes for a Speaker of their choice, what's the point of ousting McCarthy? There's a very real possibility that it will take multiple ballots to choose a new Speaker.
At the same time, if the Dems can swing a deal with the GOP members who represent Districts that voted for Biden in 2020, Hakeem Jeffries could be the next Speaker; theoretically; conceivably. The chances of that happening are only slightly better than me winning tonight's PowerBall draw.
McCarthy wasn't a help to Democrats, either. WaPo recounted numerous times that McCarthy went against Democrats interests or positions, which is why the Dems were a bloc of 213 votes against McCarthy.
Total disfunction in a Republican-led House in the runup to the election can only be a benefit to the Dems IMO.
Agreed. I am certain there will be a shutdown just before Thanksgiving. I only hope voters remember the GOP's utter incompetence in November 2024.
PRO
Draymond spits the truth
https://twitter.com/NBCSWarriors/status/1708924627588985206
CAL
Saturday is forecast to be in the upper 80s in Berkeley, so the 7pm kickoff is a blessing this week
#FireKnowlton
On this day in 1925 in Memorial Stadium the Golden Bears defeated Nevada 54-0. This would be the last of fifty consecutive Cal games without a loss. The following week the Bears would fall to the Olympic Club for their first defeat since the finale of the 1919 season. In other parts of the country on this day Notre Dame defeated Lombard 69-0 and Oregon played to a scoreless tie with Multnomah Club.
DBD celebrates 100 years of football in Strawberry Canyon with this daily feature appearing throughout the football season.
Show of hands, who was at this game?
Too easy! Cugel!!
Ha! Too Easy!!!
Go Bears!!!
Bearless for the first time in half a century
https://www.pennlive.com/life/2023/09/us-will-have-no-pandas-for-the-first-time-in-50-years.html
Realignment has gone too far
Pandas are cute but I feel like this is just a marketing problem for these US zoos. Just pick another of the many cute animals in the world to focus marketing efforts on and move on. The panda diplomacy stuff is just so absurd
pandas out quokkas in
this is the way
When I went to check out the pandas last week, I much more enjoyed seeing the baby gorilla being carried around on mom's back and the young Andean bears climbing forty feet up in a tree.
On the off chance the government shut down for an extended time, I made a trip through the zoo last week. Probably go again before the pandas are gone for good.
ELSEWHERE IN COLLEGE
Oregon State's Jonathan Smith: "for those who were offended by [this sideline signal call], I apologize. I won't be using that signal again"
https://twitter.com/WestCoastCFB/status/1707977208558690546
That's even better than the Wilcox lip-licking gif
Hahahahahaha!!!
Whatever happened to pantomiming stripping a cow's udder?
https://i.imgur.com/NVsp5sa.gif
The other hand motion would be to bring both hands together and slowly move them apart. like pulling taffy.
Sure, makes sense. Have to be aware to restrict the pulling motions to above the belt line to avoid confusing udder with tugger.
ICYMI: Baylor falls behind by 28 points after UCF chews up half the third quarter marching down the field to scored a TD. Then Baylor score 19 more points but UCF gets the ball back with 9 minutes to go and up by 9, march down the field to FG range. It's 3rd down and a first down would ice the game, but this happens:
https://twitter.com/CFBONFOX/status/1708249352735461556
UCF gets the ball back, again only needing a first down to ice the game. The throw throw an incomplete pass and then have a play with a penalty that results in a loss of down so have to punt after only burning only 70 seconds.
UCF kicks off and it's a terrible kick and the ball gets returned to the Baylor 36. Baylor has a terrible QB, so they run the ball to FG range and UCF burns all 3 of their TOs in the process. Baylor kicks the go ahead FG. UCF gets the ball back and struggle on their side of the all. Then this happens on 4th down:
https://twitter.com/woodwardsports/status/1708256910384701559
UCF once again struggles with the ball and can't stop the clock thanks to new rules. They end up missing a 59 yard FG with no time left.
https://twitter.com/brett_mcmurphy/status/1709175972832969186?s=46
Get your head in the game
https://twitter.com/GirlsOnGameday/status/1708881108975210683
ICYMI: Utah State came back from 17 and took a 7 point lead, then UConn scored a TD with 40 seconds left to go. Tight End (#83) Brandon Niemenski had two guys to block- but failed to chip the inside guy - Ike Larsen - and allowed him to go unblocked to win the game.
https://twitter.com/MrMatthew_CFB/status/1708201666787348816
Flashbacks to the 2020 Big Game
Jack Plummer reverts back to being Jack Plummer. 21/35 286 yards 1 TD, 2 INTs. Louisville has to be the worst undefeated FBS team.
https://www.espn.com/college-football/recap/_/gameId/401525512
Brian Ferentz starts to sweat a bit more as Iowa QB McNamara lost for the season
https://twitter.com/DavidEickholt/status/1708905662078447955
Previous starting O-lineman for Texas A&M gets arrested for violating a retraining order. Should he a) learn a valuable lesson and then say 'this isn't me and I promise to change' or b) call her three times from jail?
https://www.kbtx.com/2023/10/01/texas-am-football-player-arrested-charges-violating-protection-order/
Hall
, Rhett
Rhett was
Rhett was drafted in the sixth round by the Bucs and was a bubble player - getting signed and cut repeatedly. He signed with the 49ers, again a bubble player. He got cut and went to work for his buddy's tile shop. Then Dana Stubblefield got injured and he got resigned and played played well as a starter for 2 games and earning a Superbowl Ring that season. The next season he signed with Philly where he eventually earned a starting role. However, he got injured and played his last game in 1998. He moved to Morgan Hill where he became a financial advisor. His son Cade went to Bellarmine and went to SJSU - earned all-league twice, league defensive player, and finished fourth all time sack leader in Spartan history.