The setting: A grey background reveals itself to be a massive wall of clouds. It’s a rainy day as we find ourselves in an empty stadium. Cobwebs everywhere. (Ed. note: Tumbleweeds too?) Golden bleachers with a humongous blue “C” painted across the middle. A lone microphone stand is all alone in the middle.

Enter THE MIC MAN. Wrapped in a jacket, wearing a Cal mask, wearing dark-shaded sunglasses. Battling the drizzle with every step, he manages to walk to the microphone and to tap it three times. Then, he speaks with the confidence of a victorious candidate on Election Night.

THE MIC MAN: “It’s a great day to be a Bear.”

Cal fans, the Golden Bears have come roaring back into our lives! The first foe on our list this year is none other than the “Baby Bears”.

UC Los Angeles tries their best to live up to our standard, but we’ll beat them on the field and in the classroom every time. 

My fellow Cal fans, this season remains a battle for the soul of California. Our journey is starting where we want it to end: the Rose Bowl.

So, Cal fans, I need you!

TO GIVE ME A C!

GIVE ME AN A!

GIVE ME AN L!

WHAT’S THAT SPELL?

WHO ARE WE?

AND WHO’S GONNA WIN?

GOOOOOOOOOOO BEARS!