Wurster Hall: Clemson University, A Real Place

Kinda silly that they’re called Auburn with a Lake when they just dammed river. Should be called Auburn with a Reservoir I guess. Doesn’t flow off the tongue as well. Oh right. Math and Stats.

Welcome back to our new Data and Analytics Series, Wurster Hall. Our crack team of statisticians dove deep into the advanced stats this week to break down Cal Football’s latest opponent, the University of Clemson. Let’s see what the numbers tell us.

Home Is Ideally Close to a Football Stadium

We open up this week with an accurate accounting of the distance between each Chancellor’s (or President because Clemson is apparently a public school hiding behind a private school mask) House (University House for Chancellor Lyons and the President’s House for President Ayers) and each University’s football stadium. After strapping on what I can only assume to be a crisp pair of New Balance 608v5, President Ayers would have to walk 4,409.30 feet to reach Clemson’s Memorial Stadium while Chancellor Lyons, wearing the latest Nike could make it to California Memorial Stadium in a much brisker 3870.01 feet. This of course gives Chancellor Lyons an addition 530 feet to do whatever he likes (put some stickers up, play the guitar, etc.) prior to the game. Advantage Cal.

NCAA Bylaw 13.1.1.3

The next crucial data point we examine is a straightforward one. Most of us will remember one Luke Ferrelli, a former 3-Star Recruit for the California Golden Bears who while here started 13 games, finished second on the team with 91 tackles, and earned ACC Defensive Rookie of the Year in 2025. Luke’s Cal Career ended when he entered the transfer portal on December 31 (Happy New Year!) and a week later committed to Clemson. Someone smartly spent a lot of time photoshopping him in uniform only for him based on the fact that he enrolled at Clemson, moved into an apartment, participated in team classes and workouts, and slowly started his new career on the other Atlantic Coast. Oh and then he entered the transfer portal on January 21 and immediately flipped to Ole Miss. This brings Mr. Ferrelli’s total days on campus at UC Berkeley to an estimated 722 compared to 16 at Clemson. Was not aware you could enter the transfer portal twice in a year. That’s cool I guess. Great system here NCAA.

Keeping Things on the High Shelf

Next we turn our attention up, and down, as we consider the height of each opposing Head Coach. Tosh Lupoi of course measures in at a whopping 6 Feet 4 Inches, an impressive height, which should easily allow him to hide important things like cookies, offensive plans, and play calls on the high shelf, far from the reaching grasp of Dabo Swinney, who is allegedly 5 Foot 11 Inches. Which really means Dabo is probably about 5’8” or 5’9”. Here Dabo stands next to a 6’3” person.

Yeah good luck reaching that top shelf Dabo.

THE MYTHICAL THIRD DIMENSION

Okay okay maybe coach height won’t factor into the actual game here, so let’s take a look back at their stats as players huh? From what I can find, Tosh Lupoi appeared in only one season, but recorded 12 solo tackles and a few sacks. Something Dabo Swinney could never do!

Meanwhile, Dabo, the absolutely fearsome WR over the course of three seasons, appearing in 25 games, recorded 81 total yards on 7 receptions and no touchdowns. Of course, Dabo played in a different era, so if they met on the gridiron during Tosh’s time, I’d have to imagine that ultimately Tosh would have proven victorious. Especially because he’s a full foot taller than Dabo. Hey look at that! The height did matter!

Trends Matter

While learning about the university, any fair metric will use standard competition and comparison models. As the great Einstein used to say “If you just keep throwing variables into the model eventually you’ll get something funny!” Taking a deep dive into the statistics now, let’s examine each universities rankings according to the US News and World Report Rankings. UC Berkeley appears a perennial top 20 with recent successes pushing us up in the mid to low-teens. On the whole, the data suggests that UC Berkeley is trending up with a positive slope of 0.1413 and an R-squared value of 0.2338. Compare that to Clemson, who despite a surge up from the high 80s to the mid 70s, is still trending down, losing -0.33 ranking every year with an r-squared value of 0.1021. Tough sledding Clemson, the stats say you’re in decline! Now to deal with my Sleep Apnea by throwing away my CPAP….

Well dear friends, we searched the whole of the internet for relevant statistics related to Clemson and came up with this. We hope you learned something today, and hope to see you Friday! Go Bears!