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Ridiculous Products

Mad Magazine was the master of these. Here's one:

“Aspire Boot-Lick Polish,” made for “The Man in Command: Pompous… Pig-headed… Pathological.” The flavored boot polish—“licorice, caviar, chocolate, caramel, molasses, borscht, halavah, and Moxie in a base of chicken fat”—is said to make “boot-licking a little more tasty when you gotta do it.”

https://www.openculture.com/2015/02/a-gallery-of-mad-magazines-rollicking-fake-advertisements-from-the-1960s.html

SGB, how to you come up with these things?

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Looking into my mind is like looking into the Ark of the Covenant.

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A box of shittim wood, overlain with gold and topped with two cherubim....

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Don't look Marion. Keep your eyes shut!

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My new house is under the landing path of the airport. I am modestly concerned about the jet kerosene pollution coming from those planes. I guess I should have been more concerned about the larger particles, which landed about 15 miles away.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/charles-hew-crooks-pilot-who-fell-to-his-death-said-he-needed-air-before-exiting-plane-mid-air

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This week’s episode of Monday Morning Quarterbacking is brought to you by AndyPanda…

;-)

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In either event, it might have been a detail worth considering before deciding to move there.

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You should be more concerned with the chem trails imo

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Elon jokes that he wants to by Manchester United. You should not even pretend to create an axis of evil, mister.

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1559691922725281800

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he might be one of the few people who could be worse than the current owners.

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hahahaha

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Mattress

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Aug 17, 2022·edited Aug 17, 2022

I’ve got a Casper and it’s ok but I wouldn’t buy again, even after seeing the same mattress substantially cheaper at the Costco 2.5 yrs later.

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Aug 17, 2022·edited Aug 17, 2022

I need a new one. Any recommendations for a side sleeper who sleeps hot?

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I am happy with my Parachute mattress, from a fellow side sleeper who sleeps volcanic.

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Thanks.

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Volcanic? Violent went you awaken? You demand virgin sacrifices? Sometimes emits noxious gasses?

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Don't forget the hot smoldering liquid than can come pouring out all over everything.

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pqtm

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Yes.

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Standard coil is the coolest, but they aren't great for side sleepers. All-foam is good for side sleepers, but they run hot. You can go squishy coils, but they tend not to last very long. Thus, I recommend hybrid foam/coil beds. The best I found for circulation is Saatva Memory Foam Hybrid. This model has a much thinner layer of foam and then has coils underneath. Free mattress delivery and setup and they take away your old mattress. They are decently priced too. Make sure to use my promo code "SGBearIsTheMuthaFudgingMatressKing".

https://www.saatva.com/mattresses/memory-foam-hybrid

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Thanks!

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That's what we have and we are both side sleepers and have enjoyed it for 2 years. You can also find podcast discounts for $200 off for all Saatva mattresses

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pqtm. That was clearly not scripted.

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I like the one I got from Room & Board

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OUR CRUMBLING DEMOCRACY

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Drunk Uncle shows up to the grand jury probe, no doubt spending the next few hours taking the Fifth. And then drinking a fifth.

https://twitter.com/stphnfwlr/status/1559882006355484674

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Asked about his method of travel to Atlanta, Giuliani replied, "I'll tell you one thing, I didn't walk."

It's an irrelevant side issue, but I hope someone follows up on this. I would venture that he flew and it would be nice to prove how his earlier claims were BS.

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That, the reputational hit and loss of business from other clients, and the fact that taking him on as a client would likely lead to some partners leaving the firm make this one an easy pass I think. He needs like a solo or small boutique

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He's using total amateurs at this point.

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The guy who was defending Alex Jones probably has an open calendar.

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Amber Heard's legal team would be perfect for this

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Trump-supported candidates did well again. Cheney gets primaried as expected. She lost by about 37 points. Alaska's Murkowski is in a dogfight with TFG-endorsed Tshibaka.

https://www.cnn.com/election/2022

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The Alaska vote is just the warm-up. Both will be on the general election ballot.

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PRO

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Not really sure it's worth it at this point. I mean he's one of the best NBA players of all time but no championships at the moment.

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It's the amount of time he's injured.

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A's release Elvis Andrus. The total youth/cheapo movement is here! Never mind the fact that Andrus hit the key home run to give the A's breathing room in last night's game.

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BOOOOOO!!! I like Elvis!

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They also released Stephen Piscotty, who had a good season in 2018 but has been on a downward spiral since then. Can't hit the breaking ball and oft-injured.

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Game #117: A’s snap skid, beat Rangers 5-1

https://www.athleticsnation.com/2022/8/16/23309175/game-117-as-snap-skid-beat-rangers-langeliers

Oakland didn’t let the losing streak hit double digits as they beat the Texas Rangers tonight 5-1 to snap the 9-game losing streak.

The rookie starting pitcher acquired at the trade deadline had another solid outing for his new squad, the lineup racked together 11 hits and 3 walks, and the bullpen nailed down the win with a scoreless day. On top of all that, a certain top prospect got his first major-league hit!

Back in the win column, baby.

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Again! Again!

https://www.mccoveychronicles.com/2022/8/17/23309624/san-francisco-giants-arizona-diamondbacks-mlb-recap-brandon-crawford-jakob-junis-thairo-estrada

They did it again. The San Francisco Giants came from behind in the 9th inning and walked it off with a 2-run homer. Different opponent, shuffled cast, same results.

Thairo Estrada, the hero of Sunday’s game, stepped up to the plate with two outs and two strikes in a 1-0 ballgame and tripled off Arizona Diamondbacks closer Ian Kennedy. Brandon Crawford then slugged an 0-1 fastball over the center field wall.

It happened fast. Fans at Oracle pinched themselves giddy, treated to the ultimate baseball game finale twice in three days. The second time is always more unbelievable. The isolated probabilities in the moment don’t change, but the gods of sport generally don’t permit come-from-behind-walk-off homers so close together. It’s almost a faux-pas to ask…but I definitely asked. I’m sure you did too.

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Seems like the expected outcome when the team with the eighth worst batting average plays against the team with the fifth worst.

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Dodgers’ home runs not enough, Brewers walk it off in the 11th

https://www.truebluela.com/2022/8/16/23309353/dodgers-home-runs-not-enough-brewers-walk-it-off-in-the-11th

Tuesday night was all about the long ball, until it wasn’t. The Dodgers faced multiple deficits, answered with a home run on multiple occasions, but ultimately blew an extra inning lead, falling 5-4 in eleven innings.

Ryan Pepiot’s night got off to a rocky start. After walking Christian Yelich to lead off the bottom of the first, Willy Adames punished a hanging slider to give Milwaukee an early 2-0 lead.

After escaping a first inning jam, Brandon Woodruff’s stuff was as good as it has been all year. Over his first four innings, Woodruff struck out eight Dodgers and allowed no runs. The Dodgers got to him in the fifth. Joey Gallo sent the first pitch of the inning over the right field wall to cut Milwaukee’s lead to 2-1, and Mookie Betts tied the game at 2-2 with a 403 foot no-doubter of his own.

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Giants walk-off a 2-1 win over Arizona with a 2 out, 2 strike triple by Thairo Estrada, followed by Brandon Crawford's HR to center.

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Oops I should've scrolled down before posting.

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A's finally win against the Rangers, end a 9 game losing streak. (sigh)

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They got to play the Super Bowl at home last year too

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Plus the Wild card game and the NFC championship game.

21 of their last 38 games have or will be at SoFi over last season and this season.

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No, the Rams have 9 regular season home games this year. But they also play a road game against the Chargers at SoFi Stadium, which the Rams share with the Chargers..

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Somewhere out there, Atoms just got a warm fuzzy feeling.

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He peed his pants?

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Aug 17, 2022·edited Aug 17, 2022Author

Bruh. Standing on his own 8 yard line and it bounces on the opponent's 15. NFL announcer's math is wrong (77 yards), but still.

https://twitter.com/NFL/status/1558566325617770496

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He was especially unhappy with Romeo Doubs, the rookie receiver from Nevada.

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Aug 17, 2022·edited Aug 17, 2022

Who’s had a good enough camp, tho inconsistent as a rookie. Christian Watson’s missed time, and valuable reps…

Rodgers is going to miss Davante…no QB/WR combo was as tight, except maybe Stafford/Kupp.

GB takes a big step back this year. Armani Rodgers is an X-factor…

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DBD AV CLUB

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9th Only Murders in the Building - awesome

4th Sandman, really good, and amazing visuals - the only thing I've ever seen which LOOKS inspired by the graphic novel art work (i.e., not just the story).

9th High Fidelity - really very good and enjoyable (also I guess I have to admit I find Zoe Kravitz attractive).

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I had to check...Starz. People have Starz? Maybe I can wait til the season is done and then binge

loved the book (and pleasantly surprised by the movie). nice connection to the movie with Zoe

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Finding Zoe Kravitz attractive means you are indeed human. I have always found her attractive but her beauty was almost distracting in The Batman.

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Only Murders is indeed awesome and Zoe Kravitz is most definitely attractive, in fact very much so. I am happy to agree on both these important topics.

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Untold: The Girlfriend Who Didn’t Exist

I watched this two part doc on the Manti Te’o- Lennay Kekua fiasco. A) I can’t believe it’s been 10 years since this happened B) at some point 10 years ago I eventually tuned this out and did not know how it ended. It was interesting to see the perpetrator’s background and how this all came about, but still it’s very unclear what the endgame was actually supposed to be here. 14/19 WPB

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Pieces of Her...after a promising beginning, the Netflix series based on a book unfortunately came off the rails, with the lead characters doing stupid thing after stupid thing until I finally began actively rooting against them...I was nonetheless left disappointed...maybe the book was better.

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FICTIONAL PRODUCT

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Aug 17, 2022·edited Aug 17, 2022

I know the guy who invented the mood ring. He also was involved in a thigh exercise device and more recently memory enhancement pills. Had to pay a $2.1 million fine to the ftc. The last one was pretty much fictional.

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A machine that allows you to travel through time and gives you unlimited "Jedi Like" powers of persuasion that can be used only for good. You then use it to travel to January 2004 and convince Mark Zuckerberg that he should not only drop out of college but that his life would be better spent as a surfing beach bum. You can use this machine as frequently as you like, to alter the course of history in a way that does no harm but is a course correction for all of the great leaps of "progress" we've suffered through the past couple decades.

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ELSEWHERE IN COLLEGE

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Who do you think of these odds?

Week 1:

Utah (-2.5) @ Floriduh

TCU (-10.5) @ CU

NAU @ ASU ( no odds)

UofA @ SDSU (-5.5)

Rice @ USC (-35)

Oregon @ Georgia (-17.5)

Bowling Green @ UCLA (-25.5)

Boise State @ OSU (-3.5)

Kent State @ UW (-21.5)

UC Davis @ Cal (no odds)

Colgate (?!) @ Stanfurd (no odds)

Idaho @ Wazzu (no odds)

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I’m taking the Buffs +10.5 at Folsom Field v. Sonny Dykes. TCU may win, but that’s a big # for a road team at altitude in the first game for both teams.

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Davis is the Split Zone Duo upset special. They have absolutely no faith in a Musgrave offense being able to put up points.

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I don’t know how any Wilcox supporters could still support him if we lose against Davis.

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Aug 18, 2022·edited Aug 18, 2022

If this O looks inept v either Davis or UNLV, Wilcox should and will be on the hot seat and Musgrave will be gone come December.

Extending an HC that was 15-25 was a big enough head scratcher to the fan base…time to show some progress.

They may never be top half of the conference on O, but eventually something’s gotta give…enough is enough.

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That would be completely unacceptable in year 6 and folks would have to realize that the wagon is rolling in the wrong direction

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Aug 17, 2022·edited Aug 17, 2022

A loss against Davis or UNLV would be completely unacceptable. Anything less than a 2-1 OOC record is grounds for dismissal.

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What if the Bears go 1-2, but the W is in South Bend? That would be "so Cal", as I'm pretty sure no one has ever been fired for winning a game there.

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Five chaos teams that could wreak havoc on the season. furd, not Cal among them.

https://www.cbssports.com/college-football/news/five-potential-college-football-chaos-teams-ready-to-wreak-havoc-on-playoff-race-in-2022-season/

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Aug 17, 2022·edited Aug 17, 2022Author

I would agree that Furd is a chaos team. Tanner McKee is a top quartile quarterback and he's got several very, very good players on his team. But I think the team has far more unknown areas than in years past. I think Furd is going to be more Cal-like this season, losing games they should as the few good guys aren't enough to overcome their weaknesses - but then shocking somebody because McKee just goes off. Fingers cross that it isn't us.

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McKee might go off. I remember a distinct lack of team speed on the Furd side in last year's big game.

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I suspect there will be quite a bit of that in the Pac this season. Lots of places with some good players, but also LOTS of uncertainty due to unanswered questions, and a lack of depth and breadth.

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The key difference putting Furd above Cal in this article is that they play Utah and we don't. That's an extra shot at ruining a playoff contender.

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Incorrect sir, Cal will play Utah in the Pac-12 championship game.

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CAL

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Interesting stat in John Canzano's column today: There are only eight Power Five Conference football programs that haven’t had ESPN’s College Game Day visit. Cal is one of them.

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Aug 17, 2022·edited Aug 17, 2022

I blame the tree sitters and people's park, I mean back when Cal was relevant nationally (mid Tedford years)

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Bad luck and other big games that overshadowed us.

I think we would have hosted in 07 when we opened against Tennessee but the Virginia Tech shooting in April of 07 brought Game Day to Virginia Tech.

If Longshore doesn’t get injured I think we would have been undefeated in 05 going into the USC game at Memorial and Game Day would have came.

Slight chance Game Day would have came for the Big Game in 04 if that was our last game and it meant a dominate win would clinch the Rose Bowl for us.

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The 07 game came to my mind immediately. I remember Herbstreit being at VaTech that morning for Game Day, then catching a plane right afterward to do our game that night.

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Go Bears!!!

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