179 Comments

Silly Jokes

Expand full comment

From Physics 5A class: The Pitot Tube was invented by that famous physicist, Professor Tube.

Expand full comment

My wife asked to buy her some stamps, I got a couple flats of Star Wars droids. I handed them to her and said "Here some star wars stamps; I'm sorry but they didn't have any of Jar Jar Binks"

Expand full comment

I guess this would be funnier if you knew she hated Jar-Jar with a passion, even in Clone Wars, where I didn't mind him too much.

Expand full comment

https://twitter.com/Botany_nerd/status/1404890658217865225?s=20

@Botany_nerd: USDA ARS in Maryland is hiring two postdocs, work with Dr. Sunny Luo and Dr. Tianbao Yang.

These labs are great, and are actively involved with a collaboration between NASA and USDA.

Two postings in comments.

First job: USDA, Agricultural Research Service (ARS), Food

Quality Laboratory in Beltsville, Maryland, is seeking a POSTDOCTORAL RESEARCH

ASSOCIATE (Research Plant Physiologist, GS-11) for a TWO-YEAR APPOINTMENT.

Ph.D. in plant molecular biology, biochemistry or plant physiology is required. Salary is

commensurate with experience ($72,750 - $94,581 per annum) plus benefits. Citizenship

restrictions apply.

The incumbent will design and implement experiments to analyze microgreens (young leafy vegetables) growth, quality and phytochemical accumulation after physical or chemical treatments/stresses and underlying gene changes in response to the

stresses.

Knowledge of HPLC, molecular biology or bioinformatics are desirable. Send

application materials and references to Dr. Tianbao Yang, USDA/ARS Food Quality

Laboratory, Bldg. 002, BARC-West, Beltsville, MD 20705 or e-mail to

tianbao.yang@usda.gov.

Here's the other Plant Bio Postdoc position at USDA in Maryland: https://www.zintellect.com/Opportunity/Details/USDA-ARS-2021-0123

Expand full comment

There's a cluster of USDA buildings around there - so there's a very 1920s office building which was probably in the fields that now abuts an IKEA plaza, a sort of a half-assed concrete brutalist library building, and then 1/2 a mile away the George Washington Carver center which looks like just about every other low-rise office building constructed in the 90s. It is a little jarring to go from suburban sprawl to fields for the areas that ARS is still using for crop tests.

Expand full comment

40th anniversary today of the release of Raiders of the Lost Ark (June 15th, 1981)

Expand full comment

I'm sure you've all heard the review where nothing that Indy does in the movie matters. He doesn't stop the Nazis from getting the Ark, and with that, they all melted anyway.

Entertaining nonetheless! ;-)

Expand full comment

It does matter though! He's the one who found out they were digging in the wrong place for the Well of Souls.

Expand full comment

Yeah, so if he hadn’t been there, then nobody woulda found it, right? So if anything, all he did was make it worse. (Although then a couple dozen nazis wouldn’t have been zapped.)

Expand full comment

Plus he gets the ark from whatever weird island they're on and to the US Government for their warehouse (and away from the Nazis who could have come in afterwards to collect)

Expand full comment

Weird island = Gibraltar, right?

Ok, so he’s cleaning up his mess. Since prior to that he led them to the ark (as you said, the nazis were in the wrong place).

But, new thought, if the nazis did collect it afterwards, and hitler did open it, then Boom: more melted nazis!

Expand full comment

That's the secret appeal of Indiana Jones: he's relatable because he's constantly getting himself in trouble, and just BARELY getting out of it.

Expand full comment

Probably my No 1.

Expand full comment

A Chitwood family all-time top 10....

Expand full comment

Phone fun

Expand full comment

Phone adjacent, I lost my apple watch at Anacapa Island yesterday jumping from the boat into the water. Super bummed since it was tucked under my wetsuit, but apparently was jostled loose from the strap upon entering the water. I didn't notice until I was taking off my wetsuit, but it made it 17 months surfing with the same strap with no issues. I guess a $15 strap from Amazon eventually starts to wear out.

Expand full comment

YouTube'd some old Jersky Boys....brought me back to pre-caller id and cell phones when you could actually do that.

Expand full comment

Last night I got a call from myself! It was scam spoof of course. I always knew this was possible, but it felt bizarre to actually see it happen. The recorded message said my account was cancelled (it wasn't), and to press 1 to continue. I hung up immediately.

Did a little online research, and it seems this is even more common than I realized.

Expand full comment

first year I moved back to China I almost got scammed by a "we're the police, and someone has opened a credit card in your name" - but when they couldn't tell me what my English name was, I finally caught on. (My Chinese name has no legal bearing in China - but that's all they had)

Expand full comment

Never had that happen exactly, tons of calls on the cell phone with the same prefix, which have mainly stopped.

Expand full comment

I had it happen a couple months ago. I was confused for a sec then figured out what was going on. Didn't pick it up and there was no message.

Expand full comment

pretty open ended? as in hardware? or amusing things on my phone today ...

Expand full comment

You replied before I could elaborate!

Expand full comment

TCU weekend Rangers game

@JimmyChitwood is the Rangers game Mon night? Looks like United has either a 740 AM flight to SFO for 129 or a 7 PM flight for 119 for Tues.

Expand full comment

do we know anything about getting tix to the football game yet?

Expand full comment

Rangers host the Astros Monday night...bring a trash can to bang! Newellbany and I are flying home Tuesday am..I think mine's at 9 am.

Expand full comment

Cool. I'll get one of these Tues flights.

Expand full comment
author

Tell the DBD a random Simpson's quote

Expand full comment

Mmmmmmm chutney squishee

Expand full comment

Now do Classical Gas!

Expand full comment

(paraphrase)

Homer: I just bought stock in NewsCorp

Bart: Dad...that's Fox

Homer: oooh, undo, undo, undo

Expand full comment

Lisa needs braces...dental plan

Expand full comment

D'oh! A deer. A female dear.

Expand full comment

Don't have a cow, man.

Expand full comment
author

Doctor Zaius Doctor Zaius......ooooh Doctor Zaius.

Expand full comment

I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-A to chimpanzee.

Expand full comment

This is the best song lyric ever written

Expand full comment

that's the best line!

Expand full comment

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Expand full comment

So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time.

Expand full comment

You don't win friends with salad!

Expand full comment

cha cha!

Expand full comment

Did you say science?

No, he said pie pants

mmmm, pie pants

Expand full comment

Help me Jeebus!

Expand full comment
Jun 15, 2021Liked by BentPawn

Up and at them!

Expand full comment

My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

Expand full comment
author

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean that I don’t understand.

Expand full comment
author

Aurora Borealis, at this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?!...May I see it?

Expand full comment

I'm taking this baby to Mexico!

Expand full comment

All right, jail break!

Expand full comment

Nebraska

Expand full comment

My business parter is from Omaha and still has a delightful midwestern accent despite being in CA since 1994

Expand full comment

For my parents' 25th anniversary (in like 1984), we did a river cruise from SF to Sacramento. The captain was from Nebraska. He asked folks if they knew what the N on the football helmets stood for. The answer he said was...

Expand full comment

.

.

.

.

.

Knowledge

Expand full comment

Maybe I shoulda put this under Silly Jokes instead ;-)

Expand full comment

So how fun is a river cruise from SF to Sacto?

Expand full comment

about what you'd imagine...the first 30 to 40 minutes were cool while you're in the bay, but then there's a few hours of Benicia-to-davis river, which is "slow". then a night/day in old town sacto, which is ok (for a day).

Expand full comment
author

I grew up in Nebraska and spent most of my 30's there. The rural/urban divide is stark. Omaha and most of Lincoln is democratic/centrist, as evidenced by the 1 electoral vote going Dem the past couple elections. Omaha is a very nice midsized city. Strong economy, getting more diverse by the day, and surprisingly good food and entertainment options for the region.

Expand full comment

I grew up wearing a red Nebraska t-shirt and was a Cornhuskers fan back when I didn't really understand football. My younger brother grew up wearing Michigan t-shirt. Those were souvenirs from my dad who often had business trips to Midwest.

Expand full comment

Have been through twice, once in 2016 driving from Portland to Louisville and again last year driving to Philly. Both times stayed in some little highway town. Did go my Omaha and visit the CWS stadium.

Expand full comment

My pops and I went to Omaha for the Zuber/Luke/Blum/Penix/Clapinski CWS team in '92...what a blast. A visit to the CWS for a game or two is highly recommended for any baseball fan.

Expand full comment
author

Sadly they went 0-2 and were the first team eliminated that year. I saw them in Omaha in 2011, when they last to Virginia twice while going 1-2. Still a blast to see them play.

Expand full comment

Yes...they led off the whole tournament in Game 1 and let one slip v Charles Johnson's Miami team. Some crafty little Florida State lefty named Davis then handcuffed them 2 days later, but just such a cool experience. I still have the t-shirt!!

That '92 Cal team was stacked...Zuber, Luke, Clapinski, Blum and Cather all made it to the Show, and Troy Penix was a beast himself...just didn't have a position.

Expand full comment

HeyAlumniGo and i went to middle and high school w/ Zuber.

among other accomplishments he did something 100 push up during one of those Presidential fitness tests. he didnt break the school record held by his older sister!

aside from that i saw him play 1B at a minor league game when he was traveling thru Indi.

he had a shot to make the Yankees roster one season if not for having to make room for some guy named Jeter.

Expand full comment

my brother and I - neither of whom are particularly fans of Bruce Springsteen's music - have a running joke that if you can't stop a Springsteen fan from trying to insist that you must have a favorite album, you tell them Nebraska.

Expand full comment

one of the 4 states i have not been to.

Expand full comment

23 states. For my current residence I've visited 17/22 provinces, 4/4 municipalities, 1/4 autonomous regions and 2/2 Special Administrative regions.

Expand full comment

That's a LOT.

Expand full comment

But missing probably like 40% of the country by area (Xinjiang and Tibet and Inner Mongolia are gigantic)

Expand full comment
author

It's worth a trip to Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, IMO a better place to visit than the San Diego Zoo.

Expand full comment

AB alert!!

Also if it's better than the SD Zoo then surely it's better than the Columbus Zoo!! tbb alert!

Expand full comment
author

Those 3 are always at the top of the 'Best Zoo' lists. I have not been to the Columbus Zoo, but I have been to Omaha and San Diego. Omaha has much better use of the space, and has a couple features San Diego does not have(kingdom of the night, the desert dome, indoor rainforest). San Diego.....has pandas.

Expand full comment

Also: It's in San Diego.

Expand full comment
author

That's a plus. Balboa Park and Ocean Blvd. are awesome

Expand full comment

Back in the mid 90's, I needed a get away change of pace from field work in AK. Got a cheap flight to Denver, rented a car and decided to visit Lincoln, having never been there. It was late September and the Huskers were playing away....the campus was dead but enjoyed walking around. Saw the movie Twister in a theater where it had been playing for months.

What struck me though, was going into a few bookstores, and seeing a dedicated table in each with stacks of a book by some UN football coach, the name escapes me, and was told they sell bunches of them.

Expand full comment

I'm guessing the coach was Tom Osborne. He was very successful there and later was elected to Congress. I still have some relatives in Nebraska and I ended up unfriending a couple of them on FB because I couldn't stand the right-wing garbage they posted.

Expand full comment
author

Yup, Osborne has been deified. He and Bob Devaney have both achieved sainthood in Nebraska.

Expand full comment

DBD AV Club

Expand full comment

At least a few times over the last 3 weeks I've moved a 2nd TV below the main one and had the Dodgers game on one and an NBA game on another.

Expand full comment

I set up the Apple 4K TV last night - it's remarkably improved. Watched an 3rd season episode of The Bureau and the finale of Fleabag - both great shows.

Expand full comment

Sonos

i have the play bar, the subwoofer, and the old "connect" device that allows me to hook up my traditional stereo equipment like the CD carousel i bought junior year at Cal.

(it is entirely a separate miracle that it still works 30+ yrs later)

does anyone have the "new Sonos connect device"? i have heard that the sound is supposed to be better and some more recent Bluetooth features, but also some drawbacks.

i even have an "upgrade discount coupon" but have not pulled the trigger on it

Expand full comment

I'm not sure what exactly your set up is... I have 7.1 surround set up, but no subwoofer since I live on the third floor with people living underneath me.

Expand full comment

DBD Gym

Expand full comment

Tried ONE, just ONE sit-up last night, made back pain flare up, couldn't even do bridges without pain. BOOOO!

Expand full comment

Week three of the 8wk workout plan, no weight loss, but feeling a lot stronger and more comfortable with the exercises.

Expand full comment

my weightlifting class is working on front squats and man my wrist mobility is garbage. So the weights aren't the issue, but I'm lifting a lot lighter than I do comparatively (like normally I'm in the 40% range with the guys, but right now I'm at the 80% range with the women because I can't get the front rack position right

Expand full comment

Wife signed us up for cross fit. I'll report back on Thursday if I'm still alive

Expand full comment

from yesterday sounds like she should sign her dad up...

Expand full comment

They are building a home for the brother in law and the FIL/MIL. BIL planned for a nice home gym. FIL is still befuddled as to why a gym is even necessary.

Expand full comment

nice knowing you ...

Expand full comment

Rode with my cycle club this morning - they've split the Tuesday ride into 3 paces, 40+, 35-40, and then 28-32. I rode with the slow pace, but at the end sprint, I was very far behind despite pushing 38 for 1km. I think everyone was sandbagging it in the slow group.

Expand full comment

impressive. these are pretty fast paces overall, even for slow group.

on the other hand it seems that your rides are pretty flat. i average 24-28 kph around here on moderately hilly roads.

Expand full comment

There are no hills in Shanghai!

Expand full comment

DVD Test Kitchen

Expand full comment

Over the weekend I made homemade biscuits and tried a gravy recipe. MMMM. So good. And didn't seem as filling as gravy from a restaurant. Not sure if restaurant gravy is cream or whole milk based but maybe it's because the recipe I used is whole milk based. Or because I got the breakfast sausage from Lunardi's instead of Jimmy Deans. Maybe the sausage I got is homemade so doesn't taste as heavy. Dunno but it was really good.

Expand full comment

we occasionally make it at home but lately i have been having at this fancy diner. Bubby's in NYC, famous for their cherry pie.

Biscuits & Hatch Chili Sausage Gravy

couldnt find link, doesnt seem to be on current online menu

https://www.bubbys.com/

Expand full comment

chilaquiles ...

i was in the mood for them yesterday for breakfast but didnt have much time.

threw together some shredded chicken, fresh salsa and some tortilla chips w/ a scrambled egg and it was delicious and satisfying.

eggs are not usually part of it though, right?

Expand full comment

Every chilaquiles dish I've ever ordered has come with eggs, but sometimes the eggs weren't integrated into the toritilla/sauce mixture.

Expand full comment

I’ve always seen the eggs and chips mixed together, and I’ve always made it that way, but see my entry below for what Wikipedia thinks

Expand full comment

Turns out “what do I know”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chilaquiles?wprov=sfti1

I’ve never seen them without eggs (and just got back from Mexico,so feeling cocky about the topic!)

Expand full comment

btw, we were at brunch with in-laws (brother's wife's fam) about 10 years ago. mom is from Ecuador (dad is british). Son ordered chi-lack-wih-liz. turned out he didn't know what they were, didn't like them, so I traded my Florentine Benedict for them...

Expand full comment

One of the teachers I taught with when I first moved to China was from rural Canada, and she legit thought they were pronounced "tor-till-uhs"

Expand full comment

I think eggs are a required ingredient (with the topopos...and salsa to soften them)

Expand full comment
author

We usually have a few eggs in ours, usually over easy eggs though.

Expand full comment

i looked at myself a little funny when i put in the scrambled eggs and it did not quite have the right texture or consistency

Expand full comment

Our Crumbling Democracy

Expand full comment
author

Trump endorses Budd, not Pat McCrory or Mark Walker in NC Senate race. Behold, the power of a Trump endorsement.

"[A recent] survey showed McCrory leading Budd 45 percent to 19 percent, with Walker trailing in third at 12 percent support. When respondents were told that Trump had endorsed Budd, his support surged to 46 percent, while McCrory’s shrank to 27 percent and Walker’s to 8 percent."

Expand full comment

totally not a cult though

Expand full comment
author

Moscow Mitch says Dems won't get a SCOTUS pick

https://www.cnn.com/2021/06/15/politics/mitch-mcconnell-biden-agenda-manchin/index.html

Expand full comment
author

This Congress' session is already nearly 25% done. They need to get busy with some legislative wins if they want to have a chance at holding the House and Senate after the '22 elections. The COVID relief bill will be a distant memory by then.

Also, Mitch McConnell is a stain on this democracy.

Expand full comment

of course he does, the dirty fucker

Expand full comment
author

Trump, Mark Meadows, and Giuliani tried to get the DOJ to officially back that the election was stolen. Meadows pushed the idea that Italian satellites were able to change election machine votes. Fucking traitors.

https://www.cnn.com/2021/06/15/politics/trump-allies-emails-justice-department-2020-election/index.html

Expand full comment
author

Texas power grid operator urges residents to save power due to forced outages

https://twitter.com/tedcruz/status/1296134869320380419

Expand full comment

Quick, shut down all flights from Texas to Cancun

Expand full comment

Today in Covid 19

Expand full comment

Walked down Union Street this afternoon and it appeared that all the shops but one are still requiring masks for everyone.

Expand full comment

California Opens up today...

https://www.cnn.com/2021/06/15/us/california-reopening-15th/index.html

Expand full comment

We are going back to full capacity on our vessels and only requiring masks for folks that are unvaccinated

Expand full comment

Do you ask to see Vac-cards?

Expand full comment

Are things opening in practice? DC has been open but Smithsonian and many of the museums are keeping limits for now.

Expand full comment

Let's gooooo

Expand full comment

got a haircut yesterday, no mask for the first time since before times.

Expand full comment

also just walked about grocery store w/o mask today for first time.

Expand full comment

Pro

Expand full comment
author

Runner Shelby Houlihan banned 4 years after testing positive for anabolic steroid, blames burrito

https://sports.yahoo.com/runner-shelby-houlihan-banned-after-testing-positive-steroid-blames-burrito-olympics-team-usa-015346910.html

The runner is an ASU alum and younger sister of recent Cal Cross Country head coach Shayla Houlihan (who was replaced when Robyne Johnson was hired as the new Track and Field director after Tony Sandoval retired). It's easy to cynical about the excuse, but it is plausible to get such a trace amount of steroid from contaminated meat.

Expand full comment

I'm interested in the burrito

Expand full comment

me too. Where can you buy it?

Expand full comment

Beaverton, apparently.

Expand full comment

MLB players caught using foreign substances on balls to be ejected, suspended for 10 games

https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/31637665/mlb-players-caught-altering-balls-ejected-suspended-10-games

Pitchers will be ejected and suspended for 10 games for using illegal foreign substances to doctor baseballs in a crackdown by Major League Baseball that will start Monday.

The commissioner's office, responding to record strikeouts and a league batting average at a more than half-century low, said Tuesday that major and minor league umpires will start regular checks of all pitchers, even if opposing managers don't request inspections.

Repeat offenders will receive progressive discipline, and teams and club employees will be subject to discipline for failure to comply.

Expand full comment
author

Judging from the change in spin rate, maybe some of the pitchers have already stop using the really really sticky stuff, but it would be interesting to see (might only be possible for people at the games) just how much more umpires will be checking players and balls between innings starting next week.

Expand full comment

I think Trevor Bauer's spin rate has gone down 200 rpm the last couple of starts. Coincidentally he's struggled a little bit.

Expand full comment

Ranking NFL's top 10 quarterbacks of 2021: Patrick Mahomes No. 1; Matt Ryan, Matthew Stafford miss the cut

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/ranking-nfls-top-10-quarterbacks-of-2021-patrick-mahomes-no-1-matt-ryan-matthew-stafford-miss-the-cut/

Expand full comment

See the Cal section...

Expand full comment

Other College

Expand full comment

SC won a national championship for women's track and field, almost immediately afterward the coach announced that she was resigning and going to UGA. Great.

Expand full comment
author

Dixie State's naming committee puts forward "Utah Polytechnic State University".

https://www.ksl.com/article/50185851

Expand full comment

Cal

Expand full comment

Go Bears!!!

Expand full comment

dammit...I misread this as Pro

Expand full comment
author

Go Bears!

Expand full comment

NBA

Expand full comment

Hawks beat the 76ers, 103-100.

Expand full comment
author

I felt bad for Embiid. He looked worn out in the fourth quarter. That knee may be bothering him again.

Expand full comment

Clippers beat the Jazz, 118-104.

Expand full comment

I'm shocked the Clippers tied the series up.

Expand full comment

it is much more exciting when they are down 3-1 in the series

Expand full comment

Game #68: A’s early lead holds up against Angels

https://www.athleticsnation.com/2021/6/14/22534509/oakland-as-game-68-los-angeles-angels-score-result

After three innings it appeared the Oakland A’s might be on the way to a blowout victory, but by the end their bullpen was wrapping up a save.

The A’s held on to beat the Los Angeles Angels on Monday in their series opener at the Coliseum, but it got closer than expected after a big early lead. Oakland jumped out to a seven-run advantage, but finished with an 8-5 win that saw the Halos bring the tying run to the plate.

The Angels put up the first run of the game with a solo homer in the 2nd inning, and the A’s responded in the bottom half with a dinger of their own. However, Sean Murphy hit his with a runner on base, so Oakland pulled ahead 2-1.

Expand full comment

fuckin Burch almost blew that one

Expand full comment

The bullpen meltdowns are worrisome.

Expand full comment

Would you believe me if I told you the Giants scored some runs?

https://www.mccoveychronicles.com/2021/6/14/22534465/san-francisco-giants-diamondbacks-recap-brandon-crawford

You’ve heard this stat before, so I’m going to tell it to you again. That’s what we in the industry call the “hammering it home” effect, which is a term I definitely didn’t just make up.

In their four-game series with the Washington Nationals, the Giants scored three runs. Three. One of them was gifted to them by a horrific rule that no one likes. In terms of runs they actually generated from scratch, as a baseball team is supposed to do, they had two in four games and 33 innings.

I mentioned in my preview of their four-game series with the Arizona Diamondbacks that Arizona is dead last in ERA in the Majors, and maybe that could help.

It turns out that helps.

Expand full comment

I don't follow the Giants but was surprised by their offense here in DC. Scherzer went out with a groin issue after twelve pitches and the other games were started by two bottom of the rotation guys and a call-up. Based on their record I assumed the Giants had more offense.

Expand full comment

They typically do have more offense . . . the Nats series was a weird outlier. Or maybe a harbinger.

Expand full comment

Giants fans hope its the former, and fear the latter.

Expand full comment

For Giants fans, this season is already found money.

Expand full comment

Even with all that, an even semi-competent offense would've scored 7-8 runs yesterday. Gotta hand it to them...they're grinders.

Expand full comment

Dodgers’ three hits are enough in win over Phillies

https://www.truebluela.com/2021/6/14/22534478/los-angeles-dodgers-mlb-news-chris-taylor-will-smith

The Dodgers recorded only three hits on the night. Luckily for them, that was more than enough. Will Smith and Chris Taylor each hit a home run, as LA took down the Phillies, 3-1.

Through the first 3 2⁄3 innings, the Dodgers had failed to record a hit off Spencer Howard. Mookie Betts walked to begin the inning, but the offense hadn’t been able to do anything up to that point. With two outs, Smith stepped up to the plate. On a 2-1 count, Smith connected on a fastball and sent it into the left field bleachers, putting the Dodgers ahead, 2-1. They wouldn’t look back the rest of the way.

An inning later, Taylor hit a solo homer to put the Dodgers up 3-1. Oh, by the way... MAKE SURE TO VOTE FOR YOUR DODGERS PLAYERS AND GET THEM INTO THE ALL-STAR GAME!

Expand full comment

GBBR

Expand full comment

GBBR x2 with the win tonight.

Expand full comment
author

I have my own version of "Twist". I picked my family-law lawyer because she is a UC Berkeley alumna. After we met yesterday to sign name-change documents, we chatted a bit and exchanged "GO BEARS" at the end of our meeting.

Expand full comment

does your version of Twist wear jorts and have a lot of body hair?

Expand full comment