Fresh off a 3-9 season, UCLA looks to continue that mediocrity as they continue to sacrifice ethics in pursuit of a not-completely-awful football team.
IMO the most impressive bit of works done on Cal football. So damn impressive. Hilarious, yet insightful. Biased, but clear sighted. Thank you and Go Bears!
When world class shitposting meets world class review and analysis, I give you Mr. Christopher Helling...you've out done yourself, and we all benefit. In particular, so great to see the detailed work on the fUCLA QB Iamaleava, putting to rest some of the breathless hype we've seen. I for one am feeling a wee bit better about Saturday. Gracias
thanks for compiling a ridiculous amount of gif videos. Awesome.
Looking forward to the introduction to the new Takers... seems like if there is going to be a big interception game, this will be their best chance.
that UCLA is favored this game is ridiculous to me. A testament that no one paid attentino or watched either team last year. But hey always better going in as "underdogs".
If it takes an hour to read (more if you watch each clip), it must have taken 9-15 hours to compile and write. What a task, and all for the tentative glory and honor of our Bears. Stellar research and writing. Bravo.
I have no idea how long I spent on this. This is the first time I ever said I would do this in the off-season instead of waiting until the last minute, and then actually did it (forewarning, I also went way overboard with FCS Wagner). Perhaps having some time constraints on me is a good thing, based on how long this article turned out.
I watched UCLA's entire season and most of JMU's. When I watch a game live, I mark down timestamps (e.g. QB Nico Iamaleava 4Q 12:48) and later go back and make the clips, and it's always a little more time-consuming to do this than I expect. When I watch recordings, I take the clips immediately, and I do it throughout the season. This is helpful in the transfer portal era because I have e.g. a "2025/Pitt" folder with all of QB Eli Holstein's highlights, who we may see in 2026 for Cal's matchup at Virginia.
For UCLA, I had about 45 Iamaleava clips (which is enough for a whole article by itself) and realized I needed to slow this down. I still have timestamps of everything that didn't make the cut (in case you need 20 more video examples of Iamaleava missing open receivers). Converting the video clips to size-efficient GIFs is one process, followed by uploading all of them (I try to do this task while watching a different game), then I fill out details between them. I'm usually doing that writing Mon/Tues the week of, and writing the color commentary (intro/conclusion) Wed. In short, the actual writing is the easy part!
This time I'm doing my best to stay ahead of things, pre-write as much as I can, and cover as many articles for WFC this year as I can.
This is the first time I am going to have to read an article on this site in two sittings and not because I was interrupted in the middle. It’s probably unfair to expect you to produce this level of quality and volume throughout the season, but I can’t wait to see you try.
WFC consistently produces better material than professional outlets during the season. This is just running up the score.
It's a brand new day, friend. I'm reminded of Alabama's game against The Citadel in 2018 (who ran the triple option). It's such a different challenge for a defense to stop, especially because you have to prepare specifically for an offense you're probably not going to see again all year, and it's hard to do that in a week.
However, Cal has had the entire offseason to prepare for this game. Tosh knows what a big deal this game is, while this is probably just another game to Chesney.
The one thing about Penderghast was that he learned from that game and figured out how to stop the spread option afterwards. Too bad he couldn't do mid-game adjustments.
And now, to the Cal football team: please kick the absolute sh*t out of these powder-blue pretenders.
What this homer school did to the Pac is unforgivable. They didn’t just leave: they helped torch an entire conference and then strutted off like nothing happened.
So I’m asking Cal to administer a proper old-fashioned spanking. None of this gentle participation-trophy nonsense. I’m talking metal flyswatter. Hardwood switch. Something with a little character.
Send them home with their butts thoroughly and permanently dark blue and gold.
Yeah, all the focus is on Nico but I think if UCLA were to win, it will be due to a big game from Knight. (Because conversely, if Cal shuts down the run, UCLA is in big trouble if they need to rely on their passing game).
IMO the most impressive bit of works done on Cal football. So damn impressive. Hilarious, yet insightful. Biased, but clear sighted. Thank you and Go Bears!
100%...I'm out of breath
When world class shitposting meets world class review and analysis, I give you Mr. Christopher Helling...you've out done yourself, and we all benefit. In particular, so great to see the detailed work on the fUCLA QB Iamaleava, putting to rest some of the breathless hype we've seen. I for one am feeling a wee bit better about Saturday. Gracias
I am still upset we didn’t offer Mateen a scholarship, alas here we are.
Wonderfully written blend of analysis and well-deserved derision towards the southern branch. Thank you Chris!
Is that really what occurred? Seems crazy!
thanks for compiling a ridiculous amount of gif videos. Awesome.
Looking forward to the introduction to the new Takers... seems like if there is going to be a big interception game, this will be their best chance.
that UCLA is favored this game is ridiculous to me. A testament that no one paid attentino or watched either team last year. But hey always better going in as "underdogs".
If it takes an hour to read (more if you watch each clip), it must have taken 9-15 hours to compile and write. What a task, and all for the tentative glory and honor of our Bears. Stellar research and writing. Bravo.
I have no idea how long I spent on this. This is the first time I ever said I would do this in the off-season instead of waiting until the last minute, and then actually did it (forewarning, I also went way overboard with FCS Wagner). Perhaps having some time constraints on me is a good thing, based on how long this article turned out.
I watched UCLA's entire season and most of JMU's. When I watch a game live, I mark down timestamps (e.g. QB Nico Iamaleava 4Q 12:48) and later go back and make the clips, and it's always a little more time-consuming to do this than I expect. When I watch recordings, I take the clips immediately, and I do it throughout the season. This is helpful in the transfer portal era because I have e.g. a "2025/Pitt" folder with all of QB Eli Holstein's highlights, who we may see in 2026 for Cal's matchup at Virginia.
For UCLA, I had about 45 Iamaleava clips (which is enough for a whole article by itself) and realized I needed to slow this down. I still have timestamps of everything that didn't make the cut (in case you need 20 more video examples of Iamaleava missing open receivers). Converting the video clips to size-efficient GIFs is one process, followed by uploading all of them (I try to do this task while watching a different game), then I fill out details between them. I'm usually doing that writing Mon/Tues the week of, and writing the color commentary (intro/conclusion) Wed. In short, the actual writing is the easy part!
This time I'm doing my best to stay ahead of things, pre-write as much as I can, and cover as many articles for WFC this year as I can.
What a pro.
Amazing - we all benefit from your work.
Darn good lead in Christopher, amazing body of work here. Go Bears, beat UCLA.
This is the first time I am going to have to read an article on this site in two sittings and not because I was interrupted in the middle. It’s probably unfair to expect you to produce this level of quality and volume throughout the season, but I can’t wait to see you try.
WFC consistently produces better material than professional outlets during the season. This is just running up the score.
After all the shitposting I really hope we win.
Holy hell! I can't read this all in one sitting. I'll be back soon for all this deliciousness. Thanks!
Amazing work product - thank you so much
O boy we were bad against running qbs last year. I hope we figured it out
It's a brand new day, friend. I'm reminded of Alabama's game against The Citadel in 2018 (who ran the triple option). It's such a different challenge for a defense to stop, especially because you have to prepare specifically for an offense you're probably not going to see again all year, and it's hard to do that in a week.
However, Cal has had the entire offseason to prepare for this game. Tosh knows what a big deal this game is, while this is probably just another game to Chesney.
If we’d just made HALFTIME adjustments against running QBs I wouldn’t have my PTSD starting w Kapernick….
I hope we have a spy who can track him at all times…. keep him honest…
Thanks for all the great Epstei…. err, football info!
I was at that Nevada game with Kaepernick...I still don't sleep well
The one thing about Penderghast was that he learned from that game and figured out how to stop the spread option afterwards. Too bad he couldn't do mid-game adjustments.
Last year? I don't remember one we've stopped even during the Tedford days.
What a great read. Thank you for this!
Tosh: can you please relay the message below?
And now, to the Cal football team: please kick the absolute sh*t out of these powder-blue pretenders.
What this homer school did to the Pac is unforgivable. They didn’t just leave: they helped torch an entire conference and then strutted off like nothing happened.
So I’m asking Cal to administer a proper old-fashioned spanking. None of this gentle participation-trophy nonsense. I’m talking metal flyswatter. Hardwood switch. Something with a little character.
Send them home with their butts thoroughly and permanently dark blue and gold.
I forget about The Jet and this MJD reference is scary: more reminiscent of a different former UCLA running back— Maurice Jones-Drew.
Yeah, all the focus is on Nico but I think if UCLA were to win, it will be due to a big game from Knight. (Because conversely, if Cal shuts down the run, UCLA is in big trouble if they need to rely on their passing game).
Suggested premier league-inspired chant:
Engaging in tax fraud, engaging in tax fraud, engaging in tax fraud, just to go three and nine
You went three and nine, you went three and nine, you’re engaging in tax fraud, just to go three and nine
What do we think? Anyone at the game trying to make it happen?